Matt

@FitFusion__ Looks shite

This easy Wedding table decoration is a winner

@LfcNuel Supposed Liverpool fan who’s arse licking Ronaldo have some shame

Its over..... Football is finished. The media spread the biggest lie ever in football to make Ronaldo seem like a bad person. Ronaldo never said "I don't agree that Messi is better. I don't want to be humble." The media was already a disgrace but this is an entirely new level. All those that spread this false news shouldn't go unpunished. I'd be organizing a mass unfollow for every account that spread the news. They think they're big but they forget its us small accounts that make them big. No Ronaldo fan should skip this.

Fasting for 72 hours is the best medicine on Earth. It triggers your body to "eat up" tumors, inflammation, and toxins. It's literally a doctor within. Here's how to fast correctly (according to science):

Selling 2x scissor sisters tickets @ co-op live Manchester / £40 each / this Wednesday 21/05 / seated next to each other section 110 Can’t sell through ticketmaster app as already been transferred before but can transfer again to your account

Lymm services bogs are rotten. How have I walked into 3 different cubicles and had a stare down with a king kongs finger sized log in each

@Rainmaker1973 Spark that turd up mate I’m freezing

A reliable campfire, even in the worst weather conditions [📹 woodsboundoutdoors] x.com/i/status/18203…

I'M HOOTIN AND HOLLERIN LMFAOOOOOOOO

Wizzy needs a sock

I'm 44. If you're still in your 20's, read this:

"Perfection is impossible. In the 1,526 singles matches I played in my career, I won almost 80% of those matches. But what percentage of points did I win? 54% In other words, even top ranked tennis players win barely more than half the points they play. When you lose ever second point on average, you learn not to dwell on every shot. You teach yourself to think: 'Okay, I double faulted...it's only a point.' 'Okay, I came to the net and I got passed again...it's only a point.' Even a great shot, an overhead backhand smash that ends up on ESPN's top 10 playlist – that too is just a point. Here's why I'm telling you this. When you're playing a point, it has to be the most important thing in the world. And it is. But when it's behind you, it's behind you. This mindset is crucial – because it frees you to fully commit to the next point with intensity, clarity, and focus." –@rogerfederer

@DeathAngelUSA Damn did a koala take your girl?

I have to share this again: “Koalas are fucking horrible animals. They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal, additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons. If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food. They are too thick to adapt their feeding behaviour to cope with change. In a room full of potential food, they can literally starve to death. This is not the token of an animal that is winning at life. Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their fucking lives. When they are awake all they do is eat, shit and occasionally scream like fucking satan. Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal. Many herbivorous mammals have adaptations to cope with harsh plant life taking its toll on their teeth, rodents for instance have teeth that never stop growing, some animals only have teeth on their lower jaw, grinding plant matter on bony plates in the tops of their mouths, others have enlarged molars that distribute the wear and break down plant matter more efficiently... Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death, because they're fucking terrible animals. Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here). When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on. This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system. Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why? Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher. This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape. Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree, which brings us full circle back to the brain: Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree. An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I fucking hate them.”

The hair flip 😭😭😭

@Morbidful Straight to hell with him

Footage from 2015 shows Oskar Groening in court after being charged by German prosecutors as an accessory to murder in 300,000 cases, for his role at the Auschwitz concentration camp. His responsibilities included counting and sorting the money taken from prisoners, as well as managing the personal property of arriving prisoners. On a few occasions, he witnessed the procedures of mass killings in the camp. His trial began in April 2015, after the court had ruled that, at the age of 93, he was still fit to stand trial. On 15 July 2015, he was found guilty of knowingly facilitating mass murder and sentenced to four years' imprisonment. After numerous unsuccessful appeals against his prison sentence, Gröning died on March 9, 2018, while hospitalized, just before he was due to begin serving his sentence.

@jamesenglish0 If he couldn’t remember to brush his teeth then he definitely hasn’t remembered that story correctly either

12 Millwall football hooligans chase 120 West Ham Hooligans - Ginger Bob

@VodafoneUK @glastonbury 8

📣 Win 2 tickets to @Glastonbury 2024 📣 Who wants to join us this summer? 🤩 To enter just tell us in the comments how many emojis you can spot hiding in the festival pic👇 Ts&Cs: vodafone.uk/WinGlasto24

The first person ever to run the entire length of Africa. Mission complete🫡

😂😂😂

@CuppaTom02 Archie this one😂

If you know who this house belongs to, we can be friends