dracula’s dad

Hot take but listening to an audiobook is not reading and it’s actually insane to think otherwise

my house is so removed from religion that my 10 y/o just said “the devil, as in sauron?”

saturday nite

if you see me on the trail and you’re on an e-bike look the other way baby

and what

genuinely sad over a guy who didn’t have toilet paper in his apartment any of the 5+ times i came over. put me down like a dog

my cover letter is a word doc that says “hire me or i’ll kill myself and write (company name) on the bullet” in 48 font

i think it’s time for a Lost rewatch

jacob was with his ex for 7 years and proposed to me on our 100th day of dating lmao why is this real

He’s so fucking hot I want to fistfight him

it's make questionable decisions summer

maybe i get abs before summer and steal your girl

hit 9 miles today on my new favorite trail

@isildurSSB i’m not walking on a bike path i hate those people even more

@shellymiscavage Real ball knowers spam their bike bell. A lot of people on bike paths walking their dogs etc have headphones in. It’s sometimes pretty hard to be louder than the music from your headphones. If people are flying by you they’re an asshole. It’s why I just avoid bike paths.

i’m becoming a cyclist hater because why do you wait until you’re in my guts to tell me you’re on my left

beautiful woman named ‘tornado warning’ blowing up my phone

had to hit a guy with this yesterday

happy mother’s day i skated 8 miles

my kid turned 16 the other day isn't that fucking nuts

the guy in front of me in this stopped traffic is smoking a cigarette do you think he’d give me one if i asked