Derek Zoolander

I'm done,Jaco. I got a prostate the size of a honeydew...and a head full of bad memories.

What is this? A center for ants?

You think that you're too cool for school, but I have a newsflash for you, Walter Cronkite... you aren't.

Wait a minute. I know that hand. It was in the fall Bulova watch catalog.

The designer's got your nuts in a vise...offering you ten million plus three percent...of every pair of underwear sold.

I invented the piano key neck tie! I invented it! What have you done, Derek? Nothing!

I can Dere-lick my own balls, thank you very much.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have an after-funeral party to attend.

Wait a minute. I might just have an idea. They'll be looking for us at Maury's right? But they won't be looking for... not us.

You think that you're too cool for school, but I have a newsflash for you, Walter Cronkite... you aren't.

I'm pretty sure there's more to life than being really, really ridiculously good looking, and I plan on finding out what that is

Your work...in the winter International Male catalog...made me want to be a model. I freakin' worship you, man.

Have you ever wondered if there was more to life, other than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?

What are you gonna do? Screw him! Hold out for more! That's what I'm talking about!

Wait a minute. I know that hand. It was in the fall Bulova watch catalog.

MAGNUM!

A eugoogalizor, one who speaks at funerals. Or did you think I'd be too stupid to know what a eugoogoly was?

So I became...What? Bulimic. You can read minds?

And when I say brother, I don't mean, like, an actual brother, but I mean it like the way black people use it.

I love that kid. Dumb as a stump, but I love him.