Aphrodite

Here’s all the INSANE things that Trump said at his cabinet meeting today: On cognitive tests: “I aced it. I got them all right… President Obama, he wasn't a smart man. I know all about him. He wasn't a smart man. Highly overrated.” On his post-presidency plans: “After the presidency, I think I may go to Venezuela and run for president against Delcy. It's an option!” On the missile allegedly shot at the US base at Diego Garcia: "They shot the now-famous Ireland [sic]--- the island that the UK was very afraid to give us." On his “big present” from Iran: “They said to show you the fact that we're real and solid and we're there, we're gonna let you have eight boats of oil. Eight big boats of oil. I think they were Pakistani flagged.” (this 100% did not happen) When Sec. Burgum told him about oil being brought to America: “Forget that. When are they gonna do the statue of me?” On energy prices: "It's not over, so maybe it'll go up a little bit more. It's all gonna come back down to where it was and probably lower. And my predictions have been right. Trump was right about everything. They have a new hat." On Iran: “I'm the opposite of desperate. I don't care. In fact, we have other targets we want to hit!” On using a mail-in ballot: "I used a mail-in ballot. You know why? Because I'm President of the United States and because of the fact that I'm President of the United States, I did a mail-in ballot." On the National Guard in DC: "I never wanna take [the National Guard] out of D.C. I mean, maybe somebody later on will do it, but I never wanna…We see these beautiful, strong people, and they're so nice. They help, they open the doors for people, they carry bags, they pick up paper on the ground." On the Strait of Hormuz: "The amazing thing is we don't need the Hormuz Strait. We don't need it. We don't need it at all. We have so much oil. Our country is not affected by this." On pens: "See, this pen right here. This pen is an interesting example. It's the same thing. So this pen is very inexpensive. But it writes well. I like it. But I can't have the pen the way it was. You know what it is. I don't want to give too much publicity but they do treat me well. Sharpie." 25th. Amendment. NOW.

Americans are waking up to how INSANE food prices have gotten. He orders 2 soups, 2 grilled cheese sandwiches, and 1 other sandwich at Panera Bread — then stares at the total: $71. For soup and sandwiches. Panera Bread is owned by a private equity firm.

Breaking News! Corey Lewandowski the Special White House employee and alleged side piece of Kristi Noem has been fired while they were on a five day excursion in South America for her new job.He got the news through a text message on his phone telling him You’re fired. 👇👇👇👇

If you get a dollar bill with Trump’s name on it, black it out with a Sharpie. He prefers his name heavily redacted.