BumbleNightmares

It was from the first moment that I met you, that I knew I wanted to spend my whole life without you.

Dating is a lot like going to the supermarket: you intend to go for something specific like “a healthy relationship” and end up getting a ton of other stuff like “trauma and heartbreaks”

You’re nothing but a wasted shave

Met a guy today .... He’s 6’3” .... Unrelated, but anyone got any recommendations for a wedding planner

From the moment I first saw you, I knew I was going to give you a fake phone number

Dear ex of bae, Thank you for your interest in my Instagram. Lmk if you have any questions. Xoxo