Jason Weir

Why does every Neanderthal skull look like they had braces?? They have straight teeth.

Make America Great Britain Again

Can’t believe we got Acolyte before we got Jar Jar Sith

Why does @ChickfilA in Washington State not say “my pleasure”? It’s a staple of the brand.

A Beyoncé and Chris Stapleton song would heal this world @Beyonce @ChrisStapleton

@TPAIN thank you for releasing On top of the covers.

I see little difference between mechanics, dentists, and thieves.

Smells like wrong dog in here

@ShelleeOfOly @Porquerias1312 @LaceyPolice Is that a question or an assumption?

Yesterday, officers were dispatched to a theft at Safeway🚓 The suspect stole a cart full of groceries and fled in a vehicle. 😠🛒 The suspect vehicle was spotted and a traffic stop was conducted. 🛑 The suspect was #arrested and booked into jail for theft.

@BannerDriskell Use it to find openings, then apply directly on the company website

Allright Twitter! I need some help. I need to find a fully remote job, and I need to find one pretty fast. How important is LinkedIn towards finding a job?

@WSDOT_East Plowy McPlowface Or Mr. Plow

An exciting day here in Spokane as we took delivery of the states 4th Tow Plow!!! We don’t have a name for it yet, but will be asking for ideas soon. So be thinking of some names when the time comes!

@Bitburger Heard y’all are Germany’s number 1 draft beer. Congratulations!! Keep up the good work. Y’all are doing great!

Libraries are really cool

Really happy everyone paid attention in high school science and civics class. Now I don’t have to think for myself

Favorite part about The Interview movie. High ranking government officials had to watch it and review why N. Korea was so mad. Generals, elected officials, and probably the president watched The Interview. And be serious about it.

Wish I could go back in time and have some common sense named after me. Throws an apple. Jason’s theory about gravity. Stressed? Try the Jason Weir method of breathing slowly to calm down.

Anybody else?

@MaxClairo How are you so woke? Teach me

Currently building a death ray. Might take over the world or something. HMU if you want to help.