Jason

If you can throw mid 80s in the strike zone, you’re going to make every varsity high school team in the US and you don’t have to ever travel further than 30min to learn how to do that.

the same Americans who side eye Brits for eating beans on toast are chowing down on balls of butter. Actual balls of butter.

PHILADELPHIA 🆚 NEW YORK IN ROUND 2 🍿 Who's going to the Eastern Conference Finals?

so who the fuck are celtics fans rooting for in a knicks-76ers series 😭

Men do be good at parking I’ll give them that

A man asked me for drinks. I said “I don’t drink but I’ll meet you at the restaurant.” I order a mocktail and guacamole. He said, “I didn’t mean apps too. I just meant drinks.” I canceled my order and promptly walked out.

It should not cost me $600 to fly from houston to dallas. But everybody is rich so I guess that makes sense to yall.

reminder that plus size shirts don't need to be longer they need to be wider why is this shirt hitting mid thigh

You don’t need to be a parent to realize that kids these days are picky eaters (and chubby) because they’re just never hungry They have round the clock applesauce pouches and goldfish, it’s not rocket science why they aren’t jazzed about steamed broccoli come dinner

I don’t wish to be a snob, but I’m going to be. Went to a wedding last night and the effort fellas put into getting dressed is utterly pathetic. Women all looked great, 50% of the men looked like they were actually protesting against making an effort.

people complain about Austin but like, there’s still so much I love and one of those things is seeing people flood all the outdoor spaces on the first sunny day in two weeks, the energy is so great I could cry

Everyone over the age of about 40 is still having a hard time believing she's queen, right? I can't be the only one

How many push-ups (all the way down and up, zero cheating) do you think the average guy can do? Not gym rat. AVERAGE guy. If I had to guess, I would set the over/under at 8.5. Maybe lower.