despite everything, it's still pockets

babs serving another iconic mood

no chatgpt for me, thanks. i will be asking blathers

my boss is so stupid, i lie to him constantly and he never figures it out. i'll be like "no problem" "sounds good" "no worries" "you got it" "no sweat" meanwhile it is a huge problem, it sounds like shit, he should be worried, he does not have it, and i am frequently sweating

How about an Emotionally Well Adjusted Man actalike contest. How about that

the grease in your hair seeps into ur skull and whispers evil messages into your brain and when you shower it goes away and you feel better

My life's philosophy distilled into a single quote

began scanning some of the oldest official pokemon art ever released and every single page is fucking incredible.

domestic bliss 🩷

🥺

take a shot every time someone you went to high school with posts “no matter who is president jesus is king” on their instagram story today

kay well imma dissociate for a bit before mobilizing so please hit me with bracelet phrase suggestions

my therapist: so what are you going to do to relax? to take your mind off things? me: um

"look for the helpers" is advice for children you fuckin babies. you're going to have to sack up and become the helper

IMMEDIATELY STOP USING PERIOD AND PREGNANCY TRACKERS IN THE US. DONT PUT IN ANOTHER PIECE OF DATA. DELETE IT.

nothing left to do but shoplift from Sephora

and just like that my parents aint gettin grandchildren

sleepy joe you’ve got two months. go crazy. eliminate all student debt. legalize marijuana. make tampons and condoms free. ban cybertrucks. shit in the oval office’s air vent. kidnap barron. the world is your oyster buddy