Hungry Jack

@BillyM2k I’m nearly fifty and suspect everyone is lying about this sort of thing. I feel perfectly fine most every day. Maybe you just failed to get after it regularly in your youth and now you’re paying the price

is it just a rule that after you’re 40 you just have lower back pain forever

@mIkpsk @AboDantee I’m a big fan of self deprecating humor, but not necessarily of cannibalism

@AboDantee @NormalThing2Say La siz domuz mu yiyor sunuz ?

كذا يسوون الصعق الكهربائي للحيوانات بالمصالخ ويموتون لحظيًا .. ياكثر تفاصيل الحضارة البشرية اللي لو دققنا فيها بننصدم

@RobSchneider Go pick up a rifle and show us all how it’s done, big dog. Fuck off with this nonsense

“Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country.” - John F. Kennedy We must once again recommit ourselves to one Nation under God, indivisible. Therefore, we must restore the military draft for our Nation’s young people. Each and every American, at eighteen years of age, must serve two years of military service. They could also choose to serve part of that time overseas or in country in a volunteer capacity. Being a citizen of the United States gives us unparalleled Freedoms and opportunities that are the envy of the world. However, these Freedoms that we cherish do not come without a cost. By protecting and preserving these Freedoms, young people, regardless of race, creed or religion will be united in service to their country and just as importantly, to each other. Many Nations around the world require their young citizens to serve their country. Until recently, our Nation did as well. This would serve many purposes in our society; We would have all of our young men and women put into a rigorous physical training course that they could use for the rest of their lives, we would always have a standing army ready at all times including for domestic problems like natural disasters. Unlike in today’s Universities, our young people will learn how truly great their country is and how unique and incredible are the Freedoms that this Nation bestows upon them. Service is a solemn reminder of the men and women before them who “paid the last full measure of devotion” so that we may enjoy these Freedoms. Also, very importantly, we would have in service every segment of our society represented so that our elected officials would be more hesitant and not cavalier about sending their own sons and daughters off to a faraway war unless it was truly in our Nation’s interests. This discussion and implementation must begin. To the young people of America, this is your country and your future. We will leave this great and Free Nation in your good hands for your children and for your children’s children. God Bless the United States of America! Love, Rob Schneider

@i2cjak Don’t drive if you’re fucked up. Sit your ass down and catch up on Netflix or something

FYI don’t listen to the cops. Don’t do any field sobriety tests. Don’t blow on the road.

@LibertyCappy I swear you cows are so desperate to slot yourselves into categories that you’re every bit as goofy as all the they/thems you endlessly chirp about. If you don’t have a brand slapped on you, you’ll be forced to develop an individual personality. Fucking feeble

Once you realize it

@NCJRothschild It may actually be time to take seriously the notion that we cook and eat these people. It's not exactly like they wouldn't do it to you

The End is near

@haydendevs It's not particularly important. And abstracting away things that are given, that it serves its purpose, in order to avoid unnecessary bean counting every time you want to do something is what brought you all the stuff you enjoy

there are people who will go their entire life using a microwave and never stop to wonder how it works. they dont even care. its just a magic box to them.

@LeadingReport Everyone’s plans for 2026 just changed

BREAKING: JD Vance says the US government does not even prosecute fraud if it is under $1.5M per year.

@LASHYBILLS There’s the beef

A Wendy's manager has been charged with murder after shooting a man in a parking lot.

@ToddHagopian Most everyone just flips their car as a little treat for themselves after having dutifully walked the line all week. Everyone knows that

Urine DUI test doesn't prove you were impaired while driving. It just shows **metabolites** that can linger for **days or weeks** after any effects are long gone. Positive = past use, not current high. Florida knows this. Juries should too. #TigerWoods #RefusalRights

@MikeNellis For the same reason you (hopefully) don’t hire another man to fuck your wife just because you could afford it

I don’t understand rich people. If you have Tiger Woods money and you want to day drink, why the hell aren’t you hiring a private driver!?

I think I’m finally ready to believe he’s actually half-Asian

@jonta0911 I’ve always suspected that those bumbling people in infomercials, that are bamboozled by mundane tasks, might actually exist in the wild

は？マジどうやってこれ買えばいいの？

@SusieM414141 Are you just now realizing that there are profoundly stupid people bumbling around in the world at all times?

A meltdown at Wendy’s! This girl is having a major meltdown at Wendy’s, claiming she paid for her food but they say she didn’t. It gets crazier when they take her outside. She starts talking nonsense and isn’t making sense. What causes this behavior? Is it drugs, mental health, or a mix of both? They had a lot of patience with her for too long. Parts 2-4 in comments below.

@jamiemcintyre21 The outcome they ordered directly off the menu, against good advice? No, that would be silly

And the large majority of the world seems to think they deserve it Do they ?

@unusual_whales Two weeks to stop the war

Marco Rubio reportedly said Iran war should end in a matter of weeks, per Reuters

@GeneMeyerLOL I’m just here to witness the sheer amount of joyless “ack-tually”s

Best drummers of all time: 1. Joey Jordison (Invented double bass) 2. Danny Carey (Invented polyrhythym) 3. Lars Ulrich (Dad was a tennis player)

@ericmmatheny Dumb bitch

Officers tackling the transgender attorney as if any other man is the most compassionate act of gender affirmation I’ve ever seen.

@hshLauraJ It’s not illegal to be ridiculous

@unusual_whales Uh huh…

Iran is preparing 1 million troops for a US invasion, per Tasnim News