Clayton

Would you like dessert sir? I’m full but I could cram some brûlée @agraham670

Let me help you decide your opinions on movies - My profile on @letterboxd: boxd.it/85TJD

@Isimmons_art ???

Saw someone say that Spotify puts the character it matches you with on the cover of their Superman playlist. I figured I’d get Superman but boy was I wrong

Using my car’s seat warmer to keep my Buc-ee’s burrito warm.

little girls can be so cruel

Isn’t it wild that real life doesn’t have an undo button like Excel? Huge design flaw.

@forrestdeshong @ShehanJeyarajah You’ll always be the original @forrestdeshong

@ShehanJeyarajah You stole my tweet.

These went triple platinum in middle school

@cataclysmtheory You’re just the man

@RealBeeph is already begging me to blackout this weekend because I’m so fun to hang out with when I am

@cataclysmtheory This is the twitter beeph that I’ve been craving.

Browsing movies on my flight: Oppenheimer, The Godfather, Shawshank Redemption… NO WAY THEY HAVE HAROLD AND KUMAR

@franceswaring @nytimes there are dozens of us waiting!

When is the Wordle gonna be cream

@cataclysmtheory If I wanted to read a book I would.

I swear people who are anti-closed captions are so serious about it. I’m subtweeting at 2 specific people

#NewProfilePic #MerryChristmas

@cataclysmtheory I was gonna like this tweet but then you would know that I was on my phone and most likely saw your texts.

@BeephMorris keeps dodging me after I paid for his freebirds last night…

🔜

How I feel wearing another team’s jersey when I visit their stadium

Teenage Davy Jones had braces.

Had a dream about a Pirates of the Caribbean prequel. It followed a teenage Davy Jones getting bullied at Pirate High School for looking different.

Genuinely devastated by @jimmybuffett passing this morning. I’ll always be a parrot head. Thank you for the memories

Worst Taco Bell burrito to avoid spilling hot cheese in your lap: beefy five layer Best Taco Bell burrito to avoid spilling hot cheese in your lap: anything but the beefy five layer