Brownie

let Nigerian Youths in their desperation go out and hunt, if they kill the elephant their poverty ends, if the elephant kills them, their poverty ends.

@UGOOOTWEETS awful, awful thing to do to your Father

W Jackie Chan

@NemeremNjoku anywhere belle face

Lol

@onyekanwelue 🕊️🕊️🕊️

My father’s eldest sister lost her husband weeks ago. I heard today that she has fixed the funeral for June. Lots of months to be sure he is truly dead. I know what happened. She is in deep shock. They met while in university in the US. I lived with them in Lagos for years and none is problematic. Of course, I lived comfortably with them and got everything I wanted. This was even before I went to India at 18 and to university. Not as house boy, but as Landlord. 😂 My room was upstairs and my aunt made my food and called me to the dining room to eat. “Onyeka (in that posh accent), your food is ready.” She is very educated by the way. Highly educated. The perfect couple. She always called him Daddy. He called her Mummy. Devout Christians of Foursquare Gospel Church. This is the beauty of it: he is Yoruba and she is Igbo. I know what is happening: I think she is in shock and she doesn’t believe he is dead. If you let her, she may never bury him.

You wear APC pad for your yansh Sis, You get mind ooo

My Neighbor: I never said that. Me:

@onyekanwelue Proud Uncle

My two year-old nephew started home-schooling, which I feel proud to have initiated. And nobody cuts his hair! ❤️

@maxwellbamlove na wetin them talk true true be this

SEYI: Alright team, listen carefully… you’re going to the warehouse, Yes, the one where the rice has been aging gracefully since Covid like fine wine. Take those legendary bags, open them up, and pour the contents into these new bags , we just produced Millions of them, by the way don’t ask questions. Just pour, shake small small, and seal it. ALL: Oh… okay sir… so we’re basically giving the rice a glow up and redistributing? SEYI: Exactly. It’s not expired, it’s vintage. ALL: Say no more, sir. Operation Rice Resurrection and Redistribution is on the way … 🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️

@Temmy_omoileri all we have is ourselves

A client of mine shared how he was married for 24years and divorced his wife. 12 years after, he remarried, his new wife has MS( multiple sclerosis) he loved her even with the sickness. He was the caregiver at the time they married and they were both happy. Couple of years down the line, he got sick and the wife is now his primary caregiver.... He is currently counting down to his death and he is a happy man Morale: At the time you think you're helping others, you are helping yourself.

@onyekanwelue Dogs of Mexico ✅ Will watch by Sunday evening. Will drop my reviews after

Last year, we flew in the Colombian actor and reality tv star, Leo Heredia Moreno to Mexico, in company of Nigerian actor, Titi Kuti (Ade Tiger) to join us in filming “The Dogs of Mexico.” This was an exhilarating experience.

@fwdaniels make the protest happen first

after protest, what next?

@BSAT_Properties Nigeria is a Stony soil

I Want to do pure water factory business, una advice me make I no do am, say E fit close down after some years and drivers and workers go ruin the business. I say make I try bakery, una say workers go sell all my bread finish through window sef. I asked if i can go into higher purchase business, una say drivers go frustrate me and make me almost run mad. I asked of poultry farming, una say that one Na the more you look, the less you see. Say money for feed no be here, and the fowl fit dey dìe and workers fit dey move the eggs. I asked of palm oil business, una say you gats be Ogoni member before your market go strong and sell say E no easy. I no get money to build hotel or air b and b, una still say if I do that one, light no dey, and fuel and diesel cost fit carry person go back Village or managers go dey mismanage the hotel business. Ok what about land investment, Ômonìlè and real estate thieves go dey cause person BP. Them fit go resell land wey dey court or wey dey registered sef still give you. Ok, What of restaurant business, una say I go cry, say workers go do me vum Na anya. So abeg, which other business person fit do or invest in in Nigeria? Cos I don't understand ooh. Abi make I just focus on my pension? This is becoming serious. Is Nigeria that bad now that one can't trust anyone and business no longer last or stay long term? © Amaka Chukwunyere

@KlasickTheHost if We keep ranting on Twitter, NO

Or do you think Nigeria will get better? 😂

@Emarged I remember the Chronicle

@NemeremNjoku pick one already!!!!!

Trying to find a partner in your 30s

@onyekanwelue rich in time rich in travel rich in experience You are a Rich Man

Knowing a lie told about someone is a lie but pretending not to know, is the greatest sin most Britons committed against me when it comes to Oxford and many Nigerians, who chose to believe lies as truths, just because of the sheer joy they will derive, as long as it means it is against Onyeka Nwelue. Una go tire. I have been in this literary world from the day I was born. 😂 Don’t forget the kind of families I come from: generations of griots and writers. This was Chief Adichie at the memorial lecture of my grandfather.

@SemiNigerian Things are not what they used to be

Everybody is just tweeting their problems away. Nobody is okay financially, spiritually, morally, mentally in this country 💔

@onyekanwelue Amen

The moment I am better, I will enrol into a Calligraphy school.

@onyekanwelue them no dey tell person 😂😂😂😂

Stephen Embleton thought I was being paid as the Advisor on African Literature at Oxford Literary Festival. He went to take my place there by going directly to Sally Dunsmore. When he eventually found out that I raised money for the festival and flew in writers into the UK for the festival, he took off. 😂

a quick snack 💚