Brian Wise

A wise man once said, "Fuck this shit," and lived happily ever after.

@Murk441 Have you ever watched the show on the History channel "Ancient Aliens "? Kinda reminds me of that.

Whats the 1st thing that comes to mind

@saniyafatma1278 Are you absolutely sure your real name isn't Karen? Who gives a flying f☆ck?

Am I the only one who thinks it’s inconsiderate to let your kid draw with chalk all over a public playground? Especially in an area where rain doesn’t really reach, so it’s just sitting there for everyone else to deal with. We brought our kids to the park to play — not to leave with chalk all over their clothes, hands, shoes, and everything else. And I’m not even blaming the kids. Kids are kids. Of course they’re going to draw wherever they’re allowed to. But that’s exactly why parents should be paying attention. There’s a big difference between sidewalk chalk on an actual sidewalk and covering playground equipment or shaded areas where it doesn’t wash away easily. Public spaces are shared spaces. I just feel like if your kid is going to make a mess somewhere everyone uses, the parent should either clean it up or redirect them. Am I being too picky, or is this actually inconsiderate?

@TheHost_ Maybe, a simple " Excuse me " would have worked?

It finally happened. I’m at Kroger and this woman saw me walking, walked in from of me, and STOPPED with her cart positioned in the middle of the aisle in such a way I would have to move and squeeze to get through. I looked at her in disbelief. Paused for a minute. And shoved her cart out of the way. Without a word, passed “Go!”

@otokyo Water seeks its own level, maybe your the problem

@PATRIOT2117 Only in America........

I was heading upstairs to bed on a Tuesday night when I happened to glance out the back window and noticed that the light in my garden shed was on. I was fairly certain I hadn't left it on. I was positive I could make out two thugs moving around in there, going through shelves that contained tools belonging to me and not to them. I went to the phone and called the local police. A recorded message directed me to press several different numbers before I reached a human being, who explained that all units were currently engaged and that someone would be dispatched as soon as one became available. It might be a while. I thanked him and hung up. I sat in my armchair and looked at the phone for about sixty seconds. Then I picked it up again and called the same number. When the operator answered, I said calmly, “Hello. I called a few minutes ago about the two burglars going through my garden shed. You don't need to rush anymore — I've just shot them both.” I hung up. In the time it takes to brew a decent pot of coffee — roughly four minutes — two police cars came flying down my street, a helicopter appeared overhead with a searchlight, and a very committed response team came through my back garden gate. They found the two burglars still in the shed, entirely unshot, frozen in place. An officer came over to me looking somewhat bemused. “Ma’am,” he said, “you told the dispatcher you'd shot them.” “Yes,” I said. “And your dispatcher told me no one was available.”

@snowyxq1 Absolutely NO! Its clear they dont respect my freedom of choice

BE HONEST IF A MUSLIM FAMILY SITTING NEXT TO YOU AT A RESTAURANT ASKED YOU NOT TO EAT BACON IN FRONT OF THEM. WOULD YOU RESPECT A MUSLIM FAMILY? YES OR NO

@OGsDontFold Buy him a new pair of shoes and tell him to Hoof it.

how would you discipline a 19-year-old son who racked up 20 speeding camera tickets in one month? $40 each, so that’s $800 gone. Kid’s got my car flying like it’s a damn racetrack. Taking the keys away permanently? Making him pay every cent back? Or something harsher? Need real advice, not soft parenting nonsense.

@SBilke10323 @Sassafrass_84 I suggest you do a serious deep dive into what actually happened instead of listening to mainstream media soundbites.

@Sassafrass_84 Having the doj investigate the women he raped, getting 1.8 billion to fund the terrorists that attacked the capitol in January 6th, killing us citizens because they protest his policies, ignoring the Epstein release law, pardoning the highest bidder. That destroys democracy

I’m tired of hearing that Trump is "destroying democracy." He has no interest in ending our constitutional republic. You can dislike his brash style, bragging, and language. That's fine. None of that threatens the system. A republic falls when voters repeatedly elect socialists promising "free stuff," slowly converting it into a big-government machine that trades your rights and freedoms for dependency. Step off the Trump hate train. The real threat isn’t Trump’s personality. It’s the march toward communism. Read a book liberals.

@jackknopf4024 @Avabelly__ Your not just paying for the labor of doing the job, your paying for the expertise of a skilled professional who is no doubt running his own business

Yep, it looks pretty easy. You’d better get started. Don’t make any mistakes or you’ll do it over and over and over and over again and it will look much worse than it does right now. Maybe you should realize that you’re not just buying the labor for the job, but also the experience and skills of the handyman to do a fast and simple job. As long as he does it correctly and does an excellent job on it, I don’t care if it takes him six hours or 90 minutes. PAY HIM! You’re probably not gonna find a woman to do it.

I'm losing my mind. I called a handyman to fix this one small hole. He had the nerve to quote me $600! For what?! A $20 patch kit from Home Depot? He's trying to tell me he has to 'cut a new square,' 're-tape the seams,' and 'paint the entire wall' to blend it. What a joke! Does he really think I'm that dumb?! He's just trying to scam me into paying for a full day's work for a 30-minute job.

@Monica55dzrh A fence is traditionally installed with the "pretty" (finished) side facing out towards neighbors, the street, or public areas. The structural side (posts and rails) faces inward toward your property

Read this, be proud of it, dont let them Demoncrats ruin your celebration! The unwinnable war America's Founding Fathers fought and won changed human history forever foxnews.com/opinion/unwinn…

@BamaSaltyMarine I feel your pain!🤣🤣🤣

"Dude... who the hell farted?" a guy asked while standing in the Walmart checkout line. Nobody answered. Then suddenly...the smell spread across aisle 4 like a chemical attack. One woman dropped her shopping basket and screamed, IT BURNS MY EYES! A veteran-looking guy instantly dove behind the candy shelf yelling, "GET DOWN! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!" Within seconds... people were crawling on the floor. A cashier pressed the emergency button, two moms started praying, and one old lady texted her family: "I love you all." Meanwhile... an old grandpa slowly pushed his cart forward and whispered, "Damn... my medication finally working."

@CynicalPublius Do you remember the radioactive Fiestaware? LOL

In 1976 this was a fancy dinner.

Anyone who claims the lack of joy about the 250th is a function of a rough economy was not alive in 1976. The country rocked in its 200th celebration and the economy was a FREAKING MESS. There is this Gen Z misconception that the '70s and early '80s were some sort of economic golden age of readily available, well-paying jobs, low cost housing and an all around sense of prosperity. WRONG. Google "Stagflation." Google "gas lines." Google "mortgage interest rates in the 1980s." Our economy today is a golden age by comparison, without exaggeration. Yet somehow in 1976 we could gleefully celebrate our nation's birthday without Democrats turning it into a Howard Zinn-inspired anti-history hatefest.

@CynicalPublius I remember tomatoes and vegies from the garden, or canned by my mother, chicken from the coop or rabbit from the Hutch out back. And potatoes freshly dug. Water from the well.

@wottheberry Get a man, not a Muslem....

My ex-boyfriend used to jokingly accuse me of cheating so often that eventually I stopped noticing how strange it was. If my phone buzzed, he’d go: “Who’s that? Your other boyfriend?” If I took too long replying: “Damn, must be with somebody.” Always smiling. Always playful. Just enough to make me feel guilty without technically accusing me of anything. After about a year together, I started over-explaining everything automatically. Sending photos of where I was without being asked. Updating him constantly. Avoiding certain male coworkers because I knew their names annoyed him. One night we were at his apartment watching a movie when he suddenly got a FaceTime call around 1 AM. He instantly declined it. I remember the exact feeling I had in my stomach because for the first time, his reaction looked… practiced. Not surprised. Not confused. Just fast. I asked who it was. He laughed and said: “Relax, you’re becoming paranoid now.” PARANOID. The same man who spent two years treating me like a suspect suddenly wanted to act concerned about my trust issues. That’s when something in my brain finally clicked. A few days later while he was asleep, I checked his phone for the first time in our entire relationship. There were three different women. Not random flirting. Full relationships. One of them genuinely thought she was going to marry him. Another had photos with his family from holidays I didn’t even know existed. But the worst part was discovering screenshots of MY social media in a group chat with his friends where he mocked me for being “obsessed” with him. One message literally said: “She’s so scared of losing me now she reports her entire day like a receptionist 💀” I sat there staring at the screen realizing he had slowly trained me into becoming the insecure girlfriend he could later make fun of. And honestly? That’s the part people don’t talk about enough with manipulative relationships. Sometimes the damage isn’t that they hurt you. It’s that they carefully reshape your personality first… so your reaction to the hurt becomes useful to them too.

John of Damascus lived close to the time Islam first appeared and directly witnessed its rise. He called Muhammad a false prophet who borrowed ideas from the Bible and mixed them with Arab beliefs to create a new religion. He questioned why Muhammad claimed private revelations with no public witnesses, unlike Moses and the biblical prophets whose signs were seen openly. What makes this powerful is that this was not a modern critic. This was one of the earliest Christian scholars living under Muslim rule, and even he concluded that Islam was built from borrowed teachings, not divine revelation.

Oh, Hillary. Hillary, Hillary. You ignorant slut. As the Senior Military Aide to President Bill Clinton, YOUR military aide — the officer who carried the nuclear football in and out of the White House every single day — I saw the “people’s house” up close alongside you. @HillaryClinton Spare us the sanctimonious lectures. And turn on your replies, coward. When you and Bill left in January 2001, your staff ransacked the place. Remember? “W” keys ripped off every keyboard. Phone lines cut. Desk drawers glued shut. Obscene voicemails and vulgar graffiti left behind. Presidential seals and silverware stolen. Furniture damaged. The GAO confirmed the vandalism and theft. It wasn’t “transition friction” — it was a disgrace. You trashed the People’s House on your way out the door and now you’re clutching pearls over Trump? I remember, Hillary. I was there. Remember? The hypocrisy is Olympic-level, Ms. Clinton. And you know it! You of ALL people know it! The American people have long memories. Especially this one! Me! We remember who actually looted the place.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ Shut up and color.

@FloraLuzz_ J̌ust wondering? Where did you get your degree in Constitutional Law? The same place you learned about Cap Lock on your keyboard, no dobt.

MAJORITY OF AMERICANS SAY THE SUPREME COURT SHOULD REMOVE TRUMP FROM OFFICE & JAIL HIM IMMEDIATELY. U AGREE

@MMBeckerman @JeffBezos After reading these posts i have finally reached the conclusion that the only thing liberals are good at i spending other people's money $$$$$

@JeffBezos No, it's not. We have well over half a MILLION homeless people living in the US today, many of which are children. Many of those don't even know where their next meal is coming from. Cancel the space programs and solve Hunger and homelessness here first. THEN worry about space.

All personnel are accounted for and safe. It’s too early to know the root cause but we’re already working to find it. Very rough day, but we’ll rebuild whatever needs rebuilding and get back to flying. It’s worth it.

@TheHost_ No waiting, no masking or hiding it ! Shit happens!

Hey, so about poop. I was using the bathroom at TJ Maxx, and I heard someone else come in. I flushed, washed my hands, messed with my hair and left. As the door was closing behind me, I heard a gigantic fart and splash, and I just thought, uggghhhh. That poor girl came in with her upset tummy, and was holding it in and waiting for me to leave so she could go.