davey dips

If I die after I pay my rent sit me on the couch till da 30th

Threw down $34 big ones on Michkov goal tonight

@traderjoeslut You can get xtra sloppy with it in the shower

men why are the only two things in your shower a toothbrush and your 34 in 1 shampoo

"you have such great energy" thank you i am on stimulants

I never watched a full episode of MASH in my whole 35 years of living. Soon as the helicopter came up i changed the channel

@Howlingmutant0 My 4th cousin made me lick her pussy after the Dick Tracy premiere in 1990

“I will never open up, I will never be vulnerable!” - guy who’s on the verge of telling you in painstaking detail his molestation origin story

I goto planet fitness and only use the calf machine . One day I’m gonna have the nicest calf’s in New Jersey

Aerosmith - Kings And Queens (Audio) youtu.be/b7jGGBxA3Yg?si… via @YouTube

I found a new laundry mat . It’s just like the other one

Yo moe

If you're feeling stressed or anxious it's your body's way of telling you to gamble on sports

Half my twitter feed is just people being murdered . I don’t even like that kinda shit

Females got so much evil in their blood that god has to drain them once a month

A wild peyote patch in South Texas

coke addicted geese doing goose bumps

@traderjoeslut Pterodactyl

what’s your favorite animal

I can’t believe I’m saying this but the Flyers are a complete wagon

I hope nobody see me eating by myself and feel sorry for me I’m having the time of my life

Nut in a pretty girl NOTHING happens. Nut in a ugly girl BOOM baby raccoons😭