ames

🎶I want to fly away 🎶 RT for a chance to win a pair of tickets to Game 2 of the Second Round of the #StanleyCup Playoffs AND two roundtrip tickets to Dallas, courtesy of our friends at @AlaskaAir → bit.ly/FlyAlaska050123

@onehairman what was the point

crazy that they would show this. firstly, it's classist. secondly, everyone in a mariners jersey literally has work tomorrow.

growing up vietnamese be like

@Eohani_Ahawah your tits obv

Started going to the gym after work instead of late at night, and im actually excited to go now. I know there will be shifts, and i know I will miss my belly. What will I lean things on now?!?

@killuaspeaks OMG

me as an esl kid

@madisunmercury HOW DO I DO THIS

@datavizuals wise, funny, strong, and bad at math

@clairesadilla that wasn’t the question

@emo_amu Okay it’s $1600 tho

Shopping for an office chair and realizing that I’m actually just slowly turning into one of those floating chair people from wall-e

@clairesadilla LINK

I have like 5 work screens and just legitimately found an office chair with a foot rest and built in massage-chair capabilities

@tenderavacado Scott’s cheap flights is actually like this

@madisunmercury you had me scared for a second

@Eohani_Ahawah wanna be flown out & ghosted? Or flown out & catfished?

An article I read a while back has inspired me to go on one date a month in the new year. So, who wants me?

@tenderavacado when I tried they were like, we do not want ur mentally ill eggs like damn

The egg donation ads just keep coming. I’m compiling them to see which one offers me the best deal for my rotten eggs

@tropical_bby Consumption for sure

Wish Elon had bought Teams

@Eohani_Ahawah you got caught by the papp??

Was walking to my car with a cast member, and this group of drunk people came up to us and one asked “OMG WERENT YOU IN THAT THING? THE HORNY BUNCH?” And I think that’s a perfect new name for Rocky Horror.

@JumpforJoii post lasik humble brag omg

@tenderavacado hard for the rest of us to live up to

No we’re 2 orange cats