mateo

type of shit i've been on quite frankly

When a restaurant has gluten free bread 👍👍👍👍👌👌👌❤️❤️❤️❤️

Nobody: Erika Kirk:

I'm Arrakis sober tonight no spice or hands in strange womens' boxes

@KrystalWolfyAlt hell yeah

mii

where is the annoying orange through all of this? why has he not denounced hasan piker yet

I had to stop reading the Dune series because I kept talking like Muad’Dib and it was pissing off everyone in my life

ᛁ ᚲᚢᚱᛊᛖ ᚦᛖᛖ Pittsburgh Penguins ᚦᛖᛁ ᚹᛁᛚᛚ ᛚᛟᛊᛖ ᛏᛟᛞᚨᛁ ᚨᚾᛞ ᚦᛖ Crosby, Malkin, and Letang ᛖᚱᚨ ᚹᛁᛚᛚ ᛒᛖ ᛟᚢᛖᚱ. ᛏᚺᛖᛁᚱ ᛚᛟᛊᛊ ᚹᛁᛚᛚ ᛊᚺᚨᛞᛟᚹ ᛟᚢᛖᚱ ᚹᛖᛊᛏᛖᚱᚾ ᚱᛖᚷᛟᚾ ᛟᚠ Pennsylvania ᚢᚾᛏᛁᛚ ᚦᛖᛁ ᚠᛁᚾᚨᛚᛚᛁ ᛗᛟᚢᛖ ᛏᛟ Kansas City. ᚨᛚᛚ ᚺᚨᛁᛚ ᚦᛖ Philadelphia Flyers.

tried out tomodachi life

Can’t wait to rock this shirt tomorrow

i lowkey fuck with how there’s no jobs and rent is infinity money and food is infinity money and fun activities are infinity money and every kind of side hustle is completely flooded and everyone’s angry and mean all the time

i will not puke in the uber. puking in the uber is the mind killer. puking in the uber is the little death which brings total obliteration.

I AM GRITTY MAN #flyers #ignitetheorange

“There’s no depth I wouldn’t sink to in order to get a Dune Part 3 70mm IMAX ticket” *Me on Dec. 17 2026 watching the film in the wheelchair section*

i can be your white female mamdani tonight

Trump doesn't even react to assassination attempts anymore he just sits there like this

Putting a giant glossy Spider-Man 3 poster in my psychiatry office and telling patients "it's interesting you're focused on that" whenever they ask me about it

crazy how far you can walk when you’re going insane

Bene Gesserit breeding scheme.

⚠️EXTREME VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISED: The Man Hired By The Onion To Take Over Infowars Previously Took Part In The Infamous “Celery Man” Broadcast, A Paul Rudd-Led Digital Conditioning Operation Involving “Tayne,” “Nude Tayne,” “Nude Tayne With Hat,” “Tayne’s Hat Wiggling,” And Others That No Healthy Society Would Ever Permit To Be Sequenced On Public Networks! Investigators Are DEMANDING Answers About The Repeated Summoning Of “4D3D3D3,” The Unauthorized Tube Visuals, And The Disturbing Use Of Sensual Staircase Protocols To Lull Viewers Into A False Sense Of Security Before Exposing Them To Full-Spectrum Tayne Content! WHY Did Paul Rudd Ask “Can I Get A Hat Wobble” Unless He Already Knew The Ritual Was Underway? They Told You It Was A Sketch. They Told You It Was “Absurdist Comedy.” Meanwhile The American People Were Subjected To Raw Celery-Based PsyOps, Nude Digital PORNOGRAPHY, And Paul Rudd COMMITTING ADULTERY. The Pattern Is Hiding In Plain Sight!

@SkinnyTuna Remembering a speech he gave during his first term when he went "a year ago nobody even knew what transgender was but you dumb fucks love when i talk about it so i guess we're doing this"

people’s memories are so bad they can’t even remember the time before the trans culture war. literally no one cared. republicans didnt care. it wasn’t a concern until they had to make something up to make you angry and stupid. we have hard proof that it’s a hoax but no one cares