david

@MissRomy Come to Minneapolis!

@MissRomy That maybe uncomfortable at first but once you pop it out it feels glorious

From photos of Trump’s personal attorney and personal doctor, I’m starting to think he hires people solely based on hair density:

To lighten up your #ElectionDay, I’m giving away some phones. 5 random followers who RT this in 24hrs will win a Google Pixel. Good luck!

@No_answer_y que le roben cervezas a uno? El peor de los crímenes.

@megabe12 no

@megabe12 please don't be an idiot online. It's hard enough to justify letting you have the Internet at such stupid age. Check yourself.

@No_answer_y taco hell

@megabe12 country music hates you back.

@megabe12 also going to kill you for the stupidly stupid things you're retweeting lately Dang son you might as well start counting your days

With “Game of Thrones” over, now I spend Sunday nights imagining my favorite characters on other shows getting killed.

@megabe12 bro. I still don't know what a theif is

@megabe12 I don't know what a theif is

@megabe12 I know you are but what am I?

@megabe12 I know you are but what am I?

@megabe12 well you are a doody head. I know you are but what am I?

Jerry's GF texts in the movies but acts like it's okay because she sits in the last row. GF:Who am I bothering?! J:Me! You're bothering me!

When you work from home, I consider the act of just putting on pants to be a major victory in and of itself.

Kramer pitches an insane ad to McDonald’s. “Sure everyone loves your burgers but what if you made it seem like your burgers loved everyone?"