Future Ghost

Sure, sex is real great, but have you ever seen a comma in your bank account?

@emily_tweets Why, did he ask about me?

Do you shave for the gynecologist or are you rude

It's 3 am and I'm eating dinosaur chicken nuggets with chop sticks. We aren't the same.

@Agriculture666 Come to Austin. My BFF is serving as a proxy in Philly, but I can only suffer this so long.

Our debut album Agriculture is out now. We sincerely hope you enjoy it. Order the album on vinyl, cd, cassette formats, and listen on Bandcamp or the streaming service of your choice. Hell yeah. orcd.co/zoaebnm

Who knew how big airfryers would be for @hotpockets?

I think the "jump to recipe" button is a big step towards self-awareness.

@AstrosMoose @JakeOdorizzi entered the chat.

Phil Maton shouldn’t have a roster spot come the end of the game.

@RickCash19 @Gusbuckets It's a shame he and his former partner's relationship came to an end. Clearly he behaved poorly, but airing your laundry for all to see isn't exactly non toxic behavior either.

@Gusbuckets Really shouldn't be blocking every person who criticizes you. Most of your followers, the people that buy your merch, the people that go to your shows. People like me. Were criticizing because we expect better from you. Something more than a notepad apology. This isn't going away

@faulkenberryjr @beng1801 @JomboyMedia @TalkinBaseball_ I believe it's called confirmation bias.

@beng1801 @JomboyMedia @TalkinBaseball_ Astros didn’t get every call😂 Ex: the walk that should have been an SO in the 1st that lead to a homer, altuve being called out at first and many more. But hey that’s exactly what sox fan or Astros here would say because u only notice the ones against you.

The Red Sox wanted this strike three call right before Jason Castro’s go-ahead hit

@LunaMarie4u Nah uh

Would you cum to my nudes if i sent you some? 💕 #tributephoto

@JeffBezos is the only person who knows for sure if he pooped himself on his way to the outer space.

@DodgersFanGamin @MrFreshSkid @LakersLoverxo @itstaiki @BauerOutage mobile.twitter.com/Mets2KBO/statu…

@NBBrew @Schroederoni @mybeerbuzz @MartinHouseBrew @burningman Wouldn't be the first thing you tried to get credit for.

@subtle_pretext @Schroederoni @mybeerbuzz @MartinHouseBrew @burningman ‘More acid than any @burningman to date’ might be my new marketing slogan

Martin House Adding Grape Punch Pickle Beer mybeerbuzz.blogspot.com/2021/06/martin… @MartinHouseBrew #TXbeer #beernews #newbeer #beer #beers #beertwitter #cans #pickle

@NBBrew @Schroederoni @mybeerbuzz @MartinHouseBrew The only thing you've ever inspired is heart burn with the odious dreck you're brewing. One bottle of PKL FKR has more acid in it than any @burningman to date. I think the pickle you're in is your lack of talent and tact.

@Schroederoni @mybeerbuzz @MartinHouseBrew Nope, they must’ve been ‘inspired’ by some other brewery on this one

@roastmalone_ I waisted my skinniest years thinking I was fat.

No we fucking don't.

@CahnEmily You mean other than the numerous photos of him or the interview he did in the airport or how he actually talks about having done it on multiple media outlets?

Has anyone confirmed this Cruz story?

@therestofher @Tesla @elonmusk He moved operations to Texas for the same reason we're all dying out here. No regulations. He's got electric. Fuck @Tesla and fuck @elonmusk

Winter at Giga Texas

wtf was this statement????

@lipstick_daddy I live in Texas. Can confirm.

hope everyone realizes voting actually does nothing and that we are the only ones coming to save each other

@_little_old_me I don't have water, but I have electric, so that's cool.

Texans, are you ok??