Michael Tobias

Mfs be five apples tall and heavy as three talkin bout “I’m a human girl” bitch why you got whiskers and friends with a frog

She plunder by booty til I ARRGH!

Words of the day: Lazy, stinky, stupid, smelly, no good, weak-willed, foolish, pompous, silly, dumb

I’d like to wish all the weed smokers today a happy I hope you all go to fucking prison.

It’s like I’m smoking outside when I breathe

Maybe that smell is coming from me.

Have printer manufacturing companies tried to make a printer that actually works most of the time?

I would be attending a better college right now if @MartySchwartz made ACT prep videos.

Are there 2X Social Credit weekends in China?

Quick! Rehearse the magic trick before the girls show up!

Oppression is having a pull door going out of the bathroom.

Maybe my extended auto warranty 𝙝𝙖𝙨 expired.

(2/2) They say that it’s, “starting to interfere with productivity of the MPD and many important functions of of the MPD are being ignored.”

(1/2) Someone (who wants to remain anonymous) I know personally that works for @MobileALPolice has told me that a large portion of the officers and staff for the MPD role play as various animals and cartoon characters once they arrive at work.

Hey, @MobileALPolice, is it legal to stop over the white line during a red light at an intersection?

IT’S THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL! REMEMBER TO MAKE UP THREE THINGS ABOUT YOURSELF AND ONE ACTIVITY YOU LIKE TO DO FOR FUN BEFORE YOU GET TO CLASS!

My condolences to the video game developers at EA who have to learn about football every single year to make the same boring game.

Wouldn’t the saying “never meet your heroes, because they're sure to disappoint you” imply that you’re your parents hero?

Work hard now so you can afford large items that will come in the large boxes that your cats deserve.