Anne Shebib

You think Katy Perry was using her F*ck Trudeau flag as a manifestation

When Stoeten is coughing on something, ive asked him to tell me he’s okay by doing the choking sign with his hands so he doesn’t have to say something while coughing. It puts us both at ease. For example, right now he’s taking a nap on the kitchen floor

@DrPRESIDENT_ Poo

HEADING TO THE BATHROOM, YOU GUYS NEED ANYTHING?

“I’m not like other moms. I DRINK and SWEAR.” - 100% of moms from Peterborough

“Babe, there’s only 161 more games before the playoffs!” @AnneShebib

Texted my brother about it a week ago and didn’t have to explain a thing

I think about Richie Rich having a McDonald’s IN HIS HOUSE at least once a day. At LEAST.

Jeepers creepers do not forget to take your cymbalta. I had dreams so vivid and detailed that I could write a screenplay. I was envisioning escape scenes in my subconscious more intricate than breaking bad. I did WORK last night.

And I’ve learned nothing from this experience

You know when you have an appointment that you’re dreading so badly that you can’t manage to make any plans to do anything the days following because surely you will be dead? Well for the millionth time, I have survived and I feel like I’ve been born again. #periodontist

If I’m ever in a public space where a dance flash mob happens, I will shriek at the top of my lungs “WHERE’S MY BABY” repeatedly until it stops.

@westcoastwinter Got Stoeten to watch it tonight because it’s the absolute best and I quote it more than he knows

Just remembered Catherine O’Hara plays the mom in Orange County which was one of my all timers growing up and now I’m even more depressed

Haven’t felt real human connection ever since I sat on the lap of Ronald McDonald on the bench at Walmart

@davem60612 @AndrewStoeten @StephenM Sit down, bitch, before you break your hip

@AndrewStoeten @StephenM This commie retard ⬆️ has a piss fetish.

Birthright citizenship is the fiction that the children of illegals, if born here, are citizens. But Democrats take this mad delusion even further: they claim that if an illegal smuggles a minor past the border they and the child get to stay here and collect welfare for life. No.

It’s my half birthday

@DrPRESIDENT_ Mario is hornier than Bowser but I’m hornier for Bowser than Mario.

WHO WAS HORNIER

@DrPRESIDENT_ BEEP BOOP

THERE ARE A RIDICULOUS AMOUNT OF BOTS ON HERE NOW

Every time I actually lay eyes on a picture of a country artist that I’ve heard the name of one million times, I think, maybe it’s just a super common name and I’ve accidentally googled the name of the ugliest person from Lakefield, Ontario

Saw Dw*yne Gretzky perform years ago and to this day I cannot even begin to understand why you would want to publicly humiliate yourself in that way as an “artist” over and over.

I’ve brought back calling people numb nuts and it’s improved my life significantly