version of hail mary i was watching with my friends didn’t have rocky’s captions at the end, so i started translating for him and one of these motherfuckers asks “you speak beep boop?”
I love my friend Ryan he’ll text me and say “can I talk to you for ten minutes?” and then he talks to me for like seventy one minutes and says “ok this is the last thing I’m gonna say” fourteen different times
when i was 14 i decided to come out to my dad with a joke. we were both watching tv and then i turned to him and asked if he knew why lesbians never finished their jokes. he asked why. i didn't answer. we both stared at each other in silence until he went "OH!!!"
Been watching black mirror recently and was laughing to myself imagining if every episode ended with the twist being that the protagonist is a pedophile