Kennedy the Vampire Slayer

Lmao niggas out here reenacting The Deathly Hallows fight scene

yes I think children are people

🚨 DEMOCRATS JUST PASSED PAID SICK & MEDICAL LEAVE IN VIRGINIA. Starting January 1, 2029, every working Virginian will be able to take paid time off for illness, having a new child, or caring for a family member.

Got my 27th call today approving me for a $40,000 loan…

My parents raised me in a house full of heterosexual movies, heterosexual music, and heterosexual role models. I still turned out gay. If anything, you recruited ME.

i cant stop watching the tiktok of the lil boy playing with a doll trynna get his dad to watch the baby for him so he can go to work. dad says no so he goes and gets his water gun and holds him up talkin bout "WATCH MY BABY I GOTTA GO TO WORK!" 😭😭

Summer is like 80 days away

DEAN: “What’s the tariff on bananas?” LUTNICK: “10%.” DEAN: “Walmart already raised banana prices by 8%.” LUTNICK: “Well, if you build in America, there’s no tariff.” DEAN: “You can’t build bananas in America.”

My Sibling: please stay alert I will call you to open the door for me. Me in deep sleep wondering how the Goat in my dream knows my name.

people who pay for only fans

This why yall ass don't know you cant sleep with your subordinates now

'You must complete the HR mandatory safety training" Me:

almost broke my fingers blocking this man

@Less_HumbleTeej Her on the live sitting next to her lawyer

She was screen recording for the inevitable divorce and custody battle

You know what one of my favorite black experiences is? When you put too much lotion on your hand and just reach out to the closest black person and they just know to take the excess.

It took real effort, courage, & heart for these assisted living patriots to march against Trump with their walkers. 🫶 That’s what love for your country looks like. 🇺🇸

marrying a man that disrespects your culture is......

Got a letter from the HOA yesterday Actual letter In an envelope With a stamp In 2026 The letter said my trash can was visible from the street for too long on collection day The fine is $50 I checked my Ring camera The truck came at 7:03am I brought the can in at 7:14am 11 minutes $50 That's $4.55 per minute of trash can visibility My therapist charges $250 an hour That's $4.17 per minute My trash can sitting in a driveway is now more expensive per minute than therapy I looked at the letter again It was signed by the HOA president Her name is Karen Of course it is I know this woman She lives four houses down She still has Christmas lights up It's March I know because I drive past them twice a day And because that's what I do I checked the HOA bylaws All 47 pages Section 4.2 says all exterior fixtures and lighting must be seasonal and removed within 30 days of the applicable holiday Her lights have been up for 97 days I went to the HOA meeting Tuesday night 7pm In a church basement Folding chairs Fruit platter that nobody touched Seven people showed up Four of them were on the board The other three were there to complain I was there to read My wife came with me She didn't want to But she said "if I don't come you'll end up on the news" I brought my legal pad Karen called the meeting to order She talked about community standards She talked about property values She talked about the importance of curb appeal From a woman whose Christmas lights are still blinking in March I raised my hand She said "we'll take questions at the end" I said "it's not a question. It's a point of order." She looked at me I opened my legal pad I said "Section 4.2 requires seasonal decorations to be removed within 30 days. Your Christmas lights have been up for 97 days. You fined me $50 for 11 minutes of trash can visibility on collection day while you've been in violation for over three months." The room was quiet One of the other three complainers said "he's right" The board members looked at each other Karen said "that's a separate issue" I said "it's the same bylaws" She said "we'll review it" I said "I already did. Page 12. Happy to share my highlights." My wife looked at the ceiling Some things never change Karen said "I think we should move on" I said "agreed. I'll move on when the Christmas lights do." Nobody laughed I wasn't joking I paid the $50 Because it's $50 and I'm not going to die on that hill But if the rules apply to me they apply to everyone So I filed a formal complaint about the lights With photos Timestamped Funny how surveillance works both ways The fine for seasonal decoration violations is $75 per occurrence She's been in violation for 67 days past the 30-day grace period I'll let her do the math Or I'll do it for her Because that's what I do Make common sense common again Plz fix. Thx. Sent from my iPhone

Their favorite anything.

Marco Rubio: “Just because you’re born on U.S. soil doesn’t make you a citizen. Your parents must be U.S. citizens.” Grok: “Marco Rubio was born in Miami in 1971. His parents became citizens in 1975. Rubio is a beneficiary of birthright citizenship.”