FENTCOM Update
🚫 FENTCOM denies Iranian propagandist LIES about an F-35 getting locked and hit.
✅ FENTCOM confirms that the F-35's laundry room caught on fire and had a non-hostile medical emergency.
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U.S. Fentanyl Command
85 posts
U.S. Fentanyl Command
@FENTCOM
Official Account of the United States Fentanyl Command. Catching CENTCOM L's as they smoke fent. Comedic Parody/Factchecker.
가입일 Kasım 2024
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FENTCOM Update
Traders are the most cattle group of people in existence.
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FENTCOM Update
We are gonna have to make a choice between burgers or Israel...
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FENTCOM Update
401-word furious cope post from Glompf:
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FENTCOM Update
Trump states he attacked Iran on the counsel of Jared Kushner, Steve Witkoff, Pete Hegseth, and Marco Rubio.
It is important to note that Witkoff is Trump's "Iran negotiator"/MidEast envoy while Kushner holds no official position in govt
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FENTCOM Update:
Live MBZ reaction after Newt Gingrich writes OpEd about nuking his country 🇦🇪:
U.S. Fentanyl Command@FENTCOM
FENTCOM Update Newt Gingrich wrote a desperate, fentanyl-induced OpEd about dropping nukes across the UAE to make a canal that circumvents the Hormuz closure. Newsflash: Iranian drones, ballistic missiles, and anti-ship missiles can still reach his crazy Nuke Canal in the UAE.
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FENTCOM Update
Newt Gingrich wrote a desperate, fentanyl-induced OpEd about dropping nukes across the UAE to make a canal that circumvents the Hormuz closure.
Newsflash: Iranian drones, ballistic missiles, and anti-ship missiles can still reach his crazy Nuke Canal in the UAE.
Newt Gingrich@newtgingrich
Instead of fighting over a 21-mile-wide bottleneck forever, we cut a new channel through friendly territory. A dozen thermonuclear detonations and you’ve got a waterway wider than the Panama Canal, deeper than the Suez, and safe from Iranian attacks. chinatalk.media/p/its-time
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FENTCOM Update
We are blowing millions of dollars of JDAMs and hellfire missiles on retired scrapyard junk with missing turrets.
We also destroyed 100% of the Iranian military and declared victory, so we do not know where those drones and missiles are coming from. Maybe Mars.
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FENTCOM Update
Bari Weiss's propaganda outlet is covering the names of US servicemen who fell for Our Greatest Ally using Dow Jones infoboxes.
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FENTCOM Update
Reports indicate that the UAE is losing $1 million PER MINUTE since the start of the Iran War. In other words: $1.5 billion a day, $10 billion a week.
Dubai property values have also tanked by 33% following capital flight.
Follow @FENTCOM for further updates.
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FENTCOM Update
3/3: “We won the war”
3/7: "We defeated Iran”
3/9: “We need to beat Iran”
3/9: "The war is very complete, pretty much"
3/11: “We need to beat Iran”
3/11: “We won but also we didn’t”
3/12: "We won the war"
3/13: “We won but also we didn’t”
Now:
Leading Report@LeadingReport
BREAKING: President Trump says the U.S. has defeated Iran.
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FENTCOM Update
We thank Germany for dismantling their nuclear energy plants and letting us blow up Nordstream 2.
Now they have to import our expensive natural gas.
David Vance@DVATW
This is what economic suicide looks like;
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FENTCOM Factcheck
Nikita didn't do jack, Iran hit a data center in Israel.
And now the bots are gone.
Thank you for your attention.
Nikita Bier@nikitabier
Me pulling up to the X office to suspend 100 million bots posting good morning.
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FENTCOM Update
We appreciate the extra servile, fanatical attitude of our European partners, but it is time to STOP! You are playing with a world economic crash!
President Trump has FIRMLY ORDERED Europe to import Russian oil for the next month to offset Hormuz. CEASE FIRE!
Ulf Kristersson@SwedishPM
Not everyone gets such a warm welcome to Sweden. 📷: The video shows Swedish authorities decisively intervening against a suspected false-flagged oil tanker in the shadow fleet Thursday night.
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FENTCOM Factcheck
🚫 @CENTCOM is claiming to give all servicemen "freshly cooked lobster and steak meals." LIE.
✅ U.S. servicemen eat low-quality industrial slop before being shipped off to die for our Greatest Ally. TRUTH.
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FENTCOM Update
FENTUS Trump claims the U.S. military destroyed “every single Iranian military target” on Kharg Island, Iran.
FENTCOM intel indicates this might be Trump's main objective, and he plans to turn the economically significant island into Epstein Island 2.
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FENTCOM Update
WSJ has issued a new update to their original number and now states that 5,000 Marines are being deployed to the Middle East, alongside 3 extra warships. This force is half the size of a full division.
These forces are being pulled from U.S. Pacific Command.
U.S. Fentanyl Command@FENTCOM
FENTCOM Update The FENTAGON just approved deployment of a Marine "expeditionary crayon consumption unit" of about 2,500 Marines to the Middle East — WSJ Follow @FENTCOM for further updates
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FENTCOM Update
The currently known tally of US servicemen sacrificed for our Greatest Ally is at 15.
6 previously confirmed combat fatalities.
6 fatalities confirmed from the KC-135 downing.
3 fatalities uncovered, hidden under "medical emergencies" and "non-hostile events."
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FENTCOM Update
FENTCOM sensor arrays have detected a code switch:
February 28 - "If you oppose bombing Iran, you are brown, gay, and third-worldist."
March 13 - "You must support bombing Iran to liberate the POCs, the gays, and the Global South."
Disclose.tv@disclosetv
NEW - Trump on Iran: "We support gays, but they throw gays off the buildings... we have to wipe out the evil. It's an evil curse. They're evil people."
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FENTCOM Update
Our Greatest Ally is calling a Free Syrian journalist from Algeria, Anwar Malek, an "IRGC Commander KIA."
FENTCOM can confirm that Anwar Malek is alive and currently making fun of this graphic on his Twitter account as we speak.
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