Felix Foster

@ronrule @alt_w_v_g How much are you guys paying for a dishwasher? 3 yrs ago mine cost £129

@alt_w_v_g My dishwasher broke three years after I bought my house. No home warranty. I bought a new one for $1,440 with free installation, delivery, and removal of the old one. Saved $792 by not spending $2,232 on a warranty.

The dishwasher broke My wife said "good thing we have the home warranty" I said nothing I've been paying $62 a month for three years for this moment $2,232 for the peace of mind that when something breaks someone will come to the house and tell me it's not covered I called 47 minutes on hold They sent a technician Arrival window: Tuesday through Thursday between 8am and 5pm My analyst delivers faster than that And he still hasn't fixed the gridlines He showed up Wednesday at 4:47pm Looked at the dishwasher Opened the door Closed the door Touched something underneath Said "not covered" 90 seconds That's faster than my bank lets me prove I'm human I said "what's covered" He said "the motor" I said "what's wrong with it" He said "not the motor" I said "convenient" He said the service fee is $75 I paid a man $75 to open my dishwasher, close my dishwasher, and say two words My analyst could do that And he's not even that good I called the warranty company back 38 minutes on hold Requested the policy 129 pages I read all 129 pages Because that's what I do The coverage section is 34 pages The exclusions section is 58 The business model is right there In the margins Where nobody reads Except me Page 91 says "all mechanical and electrical components essential to appliance function are covered under standard service" Page 104 excludes control panels A control panel is an electrical component essential to appliance function Their own document contradicts itself 13 pages apart I highlighted both Sent them an email Subject line: "Plz fix. Thx." Attached both pages No other context Took them three days to send a technician Took them 4 hours to call me back when I found the loophole Funny how that works They covered the repair Waived the $75 And I canceled the warranty anyway Because a contract that contradicts itself isn't a contract It's a suggestion My wife said "so we're canceling" I said "we're canceling" She said "and the dishwasher" I said "fixed. They're covering it." She said "how" I said "I read the policy" She said "all 129 pages" I said "the exclusions section starts on page 47. The coverage section ends on page 34. There are 13 pages between them where they hoped nobody would look." She looked at me Then she said "you're unbelievable" I said "I just saved us $744 a year and got a free dishwasher repair. I'm not unbelievable. I'm thorough." She looked at the ceiling The dishwasher works now The warranty is canceled And the policy has been read By at least one person Probably the first Make common sense common again Plz fix. Thx. Sent from my iPhone

@PSpicker I’ve repeated myself so many times- THEY ARE NOT CHECKING THEY ARE SCRAPING-

I tested something I'd written myself: my first academic article, published 45 years ago. It came in at 77% AI-generated.

Graeme Norton was far funnier #SNLUK

Sorry, it that canned laughter? #SNLUK

@TheCyberdevil Sat night on BBC has been dire for years. I watch the documentary on Channel Four instead.

Prime Time Saturday Night repeats of The Wheel and The Weakest Link. And they wonder why linear TV is dead.

@London_W4 Pea pod wine. Lethal. Ask Margo.

In a pub this evening in Hackney and as I stood at the bar to order my glass of wine, a bloke on a barstool asked if I’d tried their pea flavoured vodka. “As it happens, I haven’t” I replied. Well you should, said he and slid a glass of it along the bar to me. I sipped away at it and declared it to be most pleasant and indeed, pea flavoured. It’s locally made it turns out. The barmaid showed me the bottle. I’d never heard of pea flavoured vodka, nor have I seen vodka served in a wine bottle. Tonight, I have broadened my horizons though and my mind. Cheers 🥂

I walked straight past this chap yesterday in the park and I thought he was a mechanic testing out the pedalos! He had a can of WD40 and everything! Sorry Matt! ⁦@mattbaileymedia⁩ bbc.co.uk/news/articles/…

@superTV247 Tbh I didn’t even know it was on!

RATINGS: #ComicRelief 2026 pulled JUST 2 million viewers for its BBC One telethon last night, the events lowest ever viewership: 2026 - 2m 2025 - 2.6m 2024 - 3.7m 2023 - 2.9m 2022 - 3.5m 2021 - 4.5m 2019 - 5.8m 2017 - 6.3m 2015 - 8.4m 2013 - 10.3m 2011 - 10.2m

@SamiraAhmedUK @Telegraph Absolutely this! Oh and by the way, that was Dave Prowse himself under that frog costume!

I feel I’ve been waiting all my life to be commissioned to write this feature about Space: 1999 for today’s @Telegraph.. telegraph.co.uk/gift/c7afbc1fc…

@gardnerstuart39 @JHCPAL Not ta mention Tunnastull.

@JHCPAL The hole place was dirty...horden just a name...dirty fram silkwotth. Be a trouble a lad like a lass fram Ryhope

Horden means "dirty valley". Recorded as Horedene c1040. Why dirty though ? Could there have been coal near the surface washing into the dene ? 🤔 I wonder if the lad here is still alive ? He might be.

@JHCPAL Gosh, he looks about 12 at most.

@Just_JanisB There was a distinct odour in the air yesterday! (Slurry on fields I think) so at first I thought you meant that!

Morning. Yes, it’s me again. Who or what was the ‘Stench Fiend’? Who thought South Shields girls were ‘dowdy gold-diggers’? And why would one man never want to revisit what happened one ‘grand, hot, summer’s day’ in 1916?

@tartancraft2 Camelli envy?

Ohh I was feeling quite excited about my camellia but having seen the ones in his garden I'm a bit deflated #GardenersWorld

@JoshHousden Sounds like a new who-donnit series on ITV 2

Athelstan and Seacole already sounds like a constituency name

Can we bring back viewers gardens? #GardenersWorld

Is #GardenersWorld in dispute with the Musicians Union? No opening music?

⁦@Just_JanisB⁩ linkedin.com/posts/simonebr…

@EarthToGazelle And how the use of massive data centres for unless queries is changing the weather?

The phlebotomist yesterday was making small talk with me, and I said “it’s been unusually cold this week”. And she goes “yeah I asked ChatGPT when it’s going to start warming up and he said late March, so we’re almost there. I believe in chat”. And I asked her why she didn’t just check the weather app. And she just laughed. Like you have no idea how many people are just casually using AI for the most ridiculous things that they’ve neverrrrr needed to use AI for in the past. 🥴

@JANUSZCZAK The fact that his cronies laughed instead of gasping in horror says it all.

Unbelievable.

@RealXavier011 She has class and dignity.

Just look at her 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹❤️🥺