Beans

@netflix Snake!

Charlize Theron (justifiably) losing her mind over this snake 😭

We should spend more time teaching people how to cook in school.

@graceyldn "I'm already with Octopus, thanks"

What’s the equivalent of “I have a boyfriend” to those charity muggers that hang around train stations or town centres?

why are the boxes square when the pizzas are round? makes you think

@ValentinaForUSA @SecWar Wait until you figure out what happens when someone gets the flu…

@SecWar This is huge. Many soldiers get sick after getting the flu vaccine. Thank you for looking out for the health of every soldier Secretary Hegseth.

The War Department is once again restoring freedom to our Joint Force. We are discarding the mandatory flu vaccine requirement, effective immediately.

Despite the conservatives being an irrelevance in British politics lately I think Kemi Badenoch has just absolutely eviscerated Starmer on Mandelson’s appointment. Starmer now responding, hands shaking and rattling through his papers…

@JackParkr @SamCoatesSky Even if he wasn’t told he failed, all the reasons for which he failed were widely known and public knowledge. Not being told he failed the security vetting doesn’t really mean much.

BREAKING: PM visibly raging as he speaks to @SamCoatesSky on Mandelson vetting row Starmer says it's "staggering" and "unforgivable that [he] was not told", he's "absolutely furious" "I was not told he had failed security vetting... No 10 was not told, that is completely unacceptable."

@TheAA_UK Why is it so difficult to cancel my breakdown cover? I've been on the phone 25 minutes waiting for someone to answer to do something that should be a single click online. Deliberately obstructive.

Has anyone noticed that wherever JD Vance goes, he just makes a mess. In Munich he insulted European allies. In Greenland he turned everyone against Trump. And now he’s helped Viktor Orbán lose re-election. Maybe better to spend more time on the couch @VP?

The only thing American bases in the UK have given us in recent years is car crashes because they keep driving on the wrong side of the road.

Rutte is at the White House today. On the agenda: whether America stays in NATO. For the first time, I find myself thinking: maybe it’s fine either way. Trump’s America is not the America that built the alliance. This version threatens its oldest friends, lies compulsively, and calls the countries that housed its troops and buried its soldiers freeloaders. That America is a nasty, corrupt, dishonest place that has spent a year spitting on everyone who ever had its back. Europe will be fine. It is rearming. It is unifying. Russia has been ground into pieces and bled white. NATO can do this job without Washington if it has to. So if Trump wants to leave, the door is open. Au revoir. Auf Wiedersehen. Ha det bra. You came. You bombed Iran for 40 days. You ran out of missiles. You called it a masterclass. You lost. And with Trump you look weak. A banana republic with aircraft carriers. What a way to go. Gandalv / @Microinteracti1

Actual quotes from President Trump: Trump’s “victory timeline” claims. Mar 3: "We won the war." Mar 7: "We defeated Iran." Mar 9: "We must attack Iran." Mar 9: "The war is ending almost completely, and very beautifully. March 10: practically nothing left to target Mar 11: “You never like to say too ⁠early you won. We won. In ​the first hour it was over.” Mar 12: "We did win, but we haven't won completely yet." Mar 13: "We won the war." Mar 14: "Please help us." Mar 15: "If you don't help us, I will certainly remember it." Mar 16: "Actually, we don't need any help at all." Mar 16: "I was just testing to see who's listening to me." Mar 16: "If NATO doesn't help, they will suffer something very bad." Mar 17: "We neither need nor want NATO's help." Mar 17: "I don't need Congressional approval to withdraw from NATO." Mar 18: "Our allies must cooperate in reopening the Strait of Hormuz." Mar 19: "US allies need to get a grip - step up and help open the Strait of Hormuz." Mar 20: "NATO are cowards." Mar 21: "The Strait of Hormuz must be protected by the countries that use it. We don't use it, we don't need to open it." Mar 22: "This is the last time. I will give Iran 48 hours. Open the strait" Mar 22: "Iran is Dead" Mar 23: "We had very good and productive talks with Iran." Mar 24: "We’re making progress." Mar 25: “They gave us a present and the present arrived today. And it was a very big present worth a tremendous amount of money. I’m not going to tell you what that present is, but it was a very significant prize.” Mar 26: "Make a deal, or we’ll just keep blowing them away." Mar 27: "We don’t have to be there for NATO." Mar 28: No major quote Mar 29: Claimed talks were progressing Mar 30: "Open the Strait of Hormuz immediately, or face devastating consequences." Mar 31: Claimed a deal was "very close" and that Iran would "do the right thing" Apr 1: "We’ll see what happens very soon." Apr 2: Repeated that a deal was likely, while warning of continued strikes if not Apr 3: "Something big is going to happen." Apr 4: Said Iran must comply "immediately" or face further consequences. Apr 5: "Open the fuckin' Strait, you crazy bastards, or you'll be living in Hell - JUST WATCH! Praise be to Allah." April 6 :a whole civilization will die April 7: total and complete victory April8: objectives were met A true disaster

Trump: do as I say, or I will bomb you back to the stone ages Iran: best I can do is this 10 point plan where you give us everything we want Trump: deal! FoxNews: Trump is a master negotiator

He needs to be removed from office. He is obviously unwell. The sooner both sides of the Congress get out of denial and accept the gravity of the situation the better for the country and the world.

@piersmorgan @Scaramucci And we thought Blair and Bush needed to be brought up on their war crimes…

This is a brazen pre-admission of genocide against the Iranian people, which would obviously be a war crime. Madness.

I am not sure the American military establishment has fully grasped what Trump has actually done here. So let me spell it out in language even a Pentagon procurement officer can understand. Europe has been buying American weapons at a staggering rate. In 2024 alone, US foreign military sales notifications to European countries hit $76 billion. Four times the European average since 2008.  F-35s, missile systems, air defence, ammunition. All of it American. All of it coming with decades of service contracts, maintenance agreements, spare parts, software updates and training programmes worth hundreds of billions more over their operational lifetimes. Between 2020 and 2024, the United States supplied 64 percent of all European weapons imports.  That is now over. Europe has an $860 billion defence plan, and American contractors are being frozen out. The goal is 80 percent of all military purchases from European factories by 2030.  Airbus. Rheinmetall. KNDS. Saab. Leonardo. BAE Systems. They are about to receive the largest order book in the history of European defence industry. Because Trump made it politically impossible for any European government to keep writing cheques to Washington. Some European governments have discussed worries that the Pentagon could remotely disable American F-35 fighters or impose restrictions on how US weapons can be used.  When your supplier is also threatening to annex your allies, that is not paranoia. That is basic procurement logic. Trump set out to make America great again. He has succeeded magnificently. For Rheinmetall. Gandalv / @Microinteracti1

The goal that secured Southampton's spot in the FA Cup semi-finals!

Beating Arsenal isn't for everyone 😏

WE'RE GOING TO WEMBLEY 🤩