Get Back In The Kitchen

@roryisconfused Omg why has this post appeared on my timeline and is literally taken straight out of my brain

The thing is that I’ll go to the pub with friends and have a few drinks and a laugh and it’ll be great and the next day I’ll be walking through London and see some people having a few drinks and a laugh outside the pub and feel that I am forever excluded from the joys of life

@MotivacionesF Why is bro warming up before sleep?

GEORGINA RODRIGUEZ: "Cristiano se despierta a las 6 a.m. Se levanta y hace ejercicio. Bebe mucha agua por la mañana porque cree que comenzar un nuevo día requiere un cuerpo fuerte y saludable." "Luego descansa una hora y media, desayuna, come fruta, queso y huevos, y después vuelve al gimnasio. Levanta pesas durante 2 horas y luego descansa. Por la tarde, se relaja con su familia o amigos. Finalmente, antes de acostarse, va a nadar porque piensa que es un buen calentamiento antes de dormir."

In one sentence prove that you've watched Game of Thrones:

@CFC_OBED Always loved Raphinha at Leeds. Not really a streets won't forget player anymore since he's made it bigtime

Tell me one footballer you just love. I don’t wanna hear Messi, Neymar or Ronaldo😂 Tell me one random sick footballer you love.

@rantymcmoanface @stuartbridger1 @RebelHQ You know what "might" means? Most people don't

@GetBackInTheKi6 @stuartbridger1 @RebelHQ Well if you need a tetanus jab asap then yes you would need to go A&E 🙄

The NHS - this is farcical. Sister-in-law phones 111 - she's a passenger in a car, her husband has been bitten by a cat. 111: where are you? Sister-in-law: In the car, I'm a passenger. 111: I have to end this call, you have to phone from somewhere safe. Parks on the duel carriageway lay-by and calls 111: 111: Where are you? Sister-in-law: Parked in a lay-by on a dual carriageway. 111: I have to end this call, I cannot talk to you till you are parked somewhere safe. What? What if her husband had been having a heart attack? This is nonsense.

@stuartbridger1 @RebelHQ You're meant to go on antibiotics for a cat bite. Either 3 day prophylaxis or 7 days. Might need tetanus too. Would you rather they went to A&E?

@RebelHQ What's farcical is that 111 was called for a cat bite

@tshianki If you're worried about getting pee on the string that's a legitimate concern. If you think you pee out the same hole as your period then maybe you shouldn't be wearing tampons

Ladies so when you wearing a tampon and you want to pee what do you do? 😭

@DavidSn04250275 @londonHenryGB @hewantswealth Funny how there's no regard about why or how people are on 100k salaries. Just the expectation that they owe something to those earning less than them

@londonHenryGB @hewantswealth The replies you get to this are eye opening…….it boils down to suck it up because you’re already doing well mate! It just goes to show what a divide we have in society. The premise is you’re rich so this unjust tax situation isn’t worth worrying about. Cretins.

Rumours circulating of the Personal Tax Allowance increasing from £12,570 to £20,070 🤯 After YEARS of frozen thresholds…this feels like a breakthrough. More money in your pocket. More breathing room. More opportunity to actually get ahead. A monumental shift…🚀

@grok @ItsAmahAdoma @ANFIELD2AFRICA What's the girl saying? Why tf she mad she the one who cheated

The clip is from Romanian reality show Insula Tentatiilor (Temptation Island). It's a dramatic cheating reveal: guy watches live on tablet, then night pool hookup, chases & fights. Key subtitle translations: 36s: Dude... He left, bro. He left. 104s: Calm down. Let me go! 141s: I don't want to see you ever again in front of me, I'm telling you. 159s: Think with your head. Think with your head.

Imagine your partner cheating on you and you watching it live 😭😭💔 What tv show is this? 😳🫣

@LetsTalk_FPL Asked if you would shout him in return for inside info? The audacity to then tweet what he tweeted yesterday 😭

While this tweet from yesterday didn’t specifically mention me, you can imagine people are putting two and two together, and coming up with five… I’ve shared my reply below to a direct message from Toni where he asked me when he was starting out if I would shout him out in return for inside info. I do try and avoid this type of drama generally, but this Haaland stuff is getting silly.

@LetsTalk_FPL I think the worst part about all this is how many other big content creators are encouraging the hate based off nothing but speculation. Glad you spoke out about it tbh. Most of your regular viewers can tell you have integrity and didn't believe the rubbish

The reaction to this Haaland stuff is absolute insanity at this point. The sheer volume of comments, tweets, abuse, insults etc when I had zero info. It’s utter madness. “He had his captain on Haaland all week”. I didn’t! It was literally on Bruno at one or two points during the stream and on earlier videos in the week. It was a super close call! Just because you don’t think it was, doesn’t mean it wasn’t. It’s the reason I wasn’t bothered by refreshing and being on Bruno, I liked both picks 🤷‍♂️ Just because being top 1k would change how people approach the game, doesn’t mean it does for me. The idea that someone wouldn’t captain Bruno if top 1k is just stupid. I’m human, just because I do this for a living doesn’t mean I’m always calm with my decisions, sometimes it’s last minute, it’s not acting, it’s just who I am. There are plenty of deadlines streams where I know exactly what I’m doing and I’m chill. Why don’t I also just “act” otherwise for views then? Because that’s not what I do. I’ve had so much shite thrown at me, it’s ruined my weekend, and the sad thing is, it’s all for nothing. People are angry for made up stuff in their head - I had no more info than anyone else. And now I’ll have to listen to it for a while despite doing nothing wrong. People just making stuff up -“well you must have known he was a doubt” etc. No truth in it whatsoever. The first I ever saw of it was from a tweet AFTER the deadline and I assumed it was something of nothing, until Saturday afternoon when the rumours started, at which point it was too late to do anything about it anyway. I’ve been offered info from a big Chelsea account before for money, I declined it without even asking how much. A Man United account asked if I wanted info recently, I said no. My Twitter DMs are completely shut off now unless I follow you, I barely check Instagram messages. I’m in zero FPL group chats. I actively try and avoid info like this, especially as my audience has grown, unless it’s public like the recent Haaland and Foden benchings. Not sure what more I can do. I’m just taking a lot of heat for no reason, I’ve gained zero advantage from this whole thing. People just want someone to blame, and it looks like it’s me, despite having no prior knowledge of this whole thing. It’s just sad. And yeah, it comes with the territory, it doesn’t mean it’s any more fun to have to read.

@LetsTalk_FPL Andy is not wet enough to post shit like this if he actually knew about the Haaland injury pre-deadline

The non-Haaland captain worry begins. Feels like the kind of all or nothing fixture for him, could go big!

@Nithya_Shrii The sonic boom of a Concorde

What is a sound or smell that doesn’t exist anymore, but 30 years ago was so common it was considered background noise?

@robtFPL @SolioAnalytics Everyone mass selling Rice 👀

Solio projected #FPL points and picks | GW27 Latest team news reflected on site - current top projected players & an example FH team 👇 🧢 close & sensitive to mins - markets expecting goals in the CHE game! Projections auto-update until deadline 👉 fpl.solioanalytics.com

@FPLGOAT7 Could be there to sort out that mf-ing groin tbf. And I mean physio/rehab not macking his girl

Why is blud on a vacation in Dubai during the most crucial part of the season?

@Bbruisedbanana @KABADIZ @OfficialFPL Can you write?

@KABADIZ @OfficialFPL CAN YOU READ????? IS HAALAND DEFENDER????

Gabriel becomes the most Triple-Captained defender of all time 📈 Can you name the only two players to have the chip played in greater numbers? 👉 preml.ge/v523yco1

@SageTheNomad @opheliay2k @itsmilliejones Neither did we until we went blonde and wondered why the sun shone out our head after 3 weeks

@opheliay2k @itsmilliejones Oh shii, I really know nothing about this sort of stuff

this is why we need female fans in football, that’s very clearly purple shampoo to tone the blonde lads

@AdamaTrd37 @WestHam Thank you for not murdering my striker 👌👌

Disappointed with the result, but grateful for my debut and my first minutes with @WestHam. Looking forward to the next game to get the three points.

@BigManBakar If you already have Enzo, would you get Mbeumo or Rogers?

GW24 Preview 🧠 Everything you need before GW24 👇

@FPL__Raptor Enzo or Ndiaye? Want them both but dunno who to bring in first

Are there any transfers you are thinking about making in GW23 that you want my opinion on? What are your benching headaches for GW23? Any other questions? 🤔