$5 Bass Pro Trucker Hat

@VaginaRoberts Genuinely couldn’t tell if this was AI fr

I am in fucking TEARS 😭😭💀 this is why I can’t leave this stupid app lol

Idk about you guys but I stay thanking Claude when they do some work for me. Just want to be on their good side when they inevitably take over the world

Kansas City got street signs of a stick figure with Donald Trump hair falling off his bike. This is the best thing I’ve ever seen

“Practice how you play” I say to myself as I buy 5 beers at the driving range

Me: in a hurry at the gas station The person in front of me in line: 4 shooters, 8 individually wrapped chocolates, and 4 lottery tickets

They put Kill Yo Self in the pollen this year

I’ll admit, when I was a kid in the 90s I definitely thought that Kid Rock would have less direct involvement with military operations

2nd time I ever traveled for work alone I talked to a commercial lightbulb salesman at the hotel bar and he started showing me his rap songs from the 90s. Hope he’s doing well

Dollar General and Subway in a small rural town

Yo The Masters is on Amazon this year. Jk it’s actually on Paramount+. Oh you didn’t want to watch 4 irrelevant golfers? Upgrade your package. Wait ESPN got it. Jk they’re only showing 2 holes. Upgrade your package for the full broadcast! Lmao psych here’s 3 more holes tho

@RossChaifetz @stlshockmlp @MajorLeaguePB @ChaifetzArena Sup Ross I’m not a celeb or media or an athlete fr but I’ll sub in if you need bodies

Hey St. Louis 🚨 we are looking for celeb/media/athlete personalities to compete in a May 12th pickleball ProAm 🏓🥒open to the public to promote @stlshockmlp and our upcoming @MajorLeaguePB event at @ChaifetzArena on June 4-7. Drop some high profile STL names that play pickle⬇️

I don't know that words will ever be able to adequately express how insane it feels to sit at a desk and respond to trivial emails while the President of the United States threatens to destroy an entire civilization.

Rating the glassware at Crate and Barrel based on how well it would work as a home defense weapon

State Sec. Rubio: “Imagine if instead of spending billions on weapons, Iran spent that money on its people. They’d have a much different country.” Follow: @AFpost

@seedyoulater Oh yeah we really are true brothers

アメリカの人に届くかわかんないけど、せっかくだし言うだけ言っておくか！ 美味しいバーボンを作ってくれてありがとう！！ 特に、ブラントンは本当に最高だよ、特別な日の晩にゆっくり飲むことにしているんだ。

@Traveler_dam Hello friend. American here. We love meat, muscle cars (American), and sushi. It’s all true I promise

肉を食うとビーガンが来て怒り狂い、アメ車に乗ると環境保護団体が来て怒り狂い、寿司を食べると文化盗用だと言って変な人が怒り狂う。 肉食いまくってアメ車乗って、時々 寿司食ったって別にいいじゃないですか。

Me to the translated Spanish tweets after the translated Japanese tweets hit my TL

Wait til Japan hears Freebird

海外勢にリーチしたので、banger,LMAO,dudeなどのスラングを学ぶことができました。

@RangerApologist @Cardinals I’ve never seen an opposing fan reply this obsessively to a different team in my life. Real hater, have to respect it

@Cardinals This team is losing 120 games

It starts now.