Manchester United Updates

Things that have happened since Man United last played. • Real Madrid are winless in 3 games • Arsenal bottled 2 trophies • Liverpool has lost 3 games on the row • Barcalona unbeaten run at home ended • Jesus was crucified and made a remontada on the 3rd day • Chelsea conceded 6 goals in 2 games • Artemis II traveled to space and returned after 10 days. Man United still hasn’t kicked a football. This is not life man.

This is quite the opposite for me. I keep a ledger for those who hurt me. I don’t feel things loudly, but I feel them long. When people show me who they are, I believe them the first time; I don’t audition alternate versions. I understand betrayal, the fickleness of humans, so if I let my guard down and you take advantage of that, I’m sorry: I will pay you back. You will have to feel what I felt, worse, even. Understand: this isn’t about tantrum or theatrics. It’s accounting. In my world, grace has a credit limit and interest accrues. I don’t chase apologies across a burning bridge. I brick the bridge from my side and plant a garden where the road used to be. There’s no one I consider indispensable, no one I cannot cut off. My revenge is rarely noise; it’s access revoked, warmth withdrawn, the sun turned off where you stand. I don’t smear you; I erase the privileges you enjoyed. Consequence, not chaos. And sometimes, yes, it’s more. Sometimes it’s me actively seeking out ways to crush you, and I won’t stop until I’m certain you’ve been crushed. People call it harsh until they meet their own reflections in it. I’m not in the business of rehabilitating the image you presented when you thought I wouldn’t remember. I remember. Not to brood, but to calibrate. Forgiveness without memory is permission; I’m not granting that. I can be civil, even kind, but the door you once used now has a different lock and a guard who knows your face. Mercy, for me, requires cost paid and pattern broken; anything else is a subsidy for future harm.

Forgiveness is not really a virtue in my case because I subconsciously offer grace or just forget. Very few things are serious in my world so I don’t feel much. It’s a kind of dispositional indifference I can’t explain. Even the idea of getting back at you may eventually bore me.

This will be my last and final season if I don’t start getting answers.

1. Start subtly. It is uncouth and disrespectful to talk about certain parts of their bodies when you are not that close to them. Start by complimenting their eyes, nails, skin, voice, or how they smell. Keep it cute and basic at first. 2. You have a short window to establish flirting; otherwise, you may be friendzoned for life. Throw it in once in a while, but as I said, keep it subtle. 3. Know exactly when you are “there” with someone before flirting with them. You are not a wild animal, so stop flirting with random people. Have some decorum. 4. From body language and how they respond to you, you’ll know when someone is interested in you. Take that hint and start flirting. 5. Flirting isn’t just words. You can flirt with your cooking skills; in fact, it’s one of the easiest ways to get people to like you. (This works for me very well). 6. There’s absolutely no reason to be overly sexual while flirting, unless you’re already involved with each other or have clearly established that level of intimacy. Less is more. 7. Again, most people are uncomfortable when you talk about their body. That’s why they respond to some of your messages and ignore others. Pay attention. 8. If someone is flirting with you and you like them, flirt back. Keep them on their toes. Send a slightly riskier line that makes your heart race, but only when it’s mutual. 9. Flirt with intention. Build attraction in a way that makes them look forward to talking to you and being around you. 10. Avoid pickup lines, they’re outdated. Let it flow naturally. Flirting should feel effortless. 11. Learn how to flirt with your eyes without saying a word. It’s one of the most attractive forms of flirting. 12. Pay attention to little details about them, new hair, a haircut, sneakers, nails, lip combo, or a new scent. Those small things make people feel seen and appreciated. 13. ⁠Lastly, know when to stop. They are not oblivious to what you are doing or saying. They are not flirting back because they are not interested in you. Know when to leave the stage.

Summer game confirmed ✅ We’ll play a pre season friendly game against @ManUtd at the Strawberry Arena of Stockholm 🤝 ℹ️ loom.ly/p9VhXHo

Last Tuesdays match reminded me of the @ChampionsLeague game against a talented @Manuel_Neuer in 2011 when I was 40yr myself! Impressive performance to see him doing the same thing last night but then 15 years later! #goalkeeper #adidas #manchesterunited #schalke

Harry Maguire extends his stay until June 2027! ✔️ Our no.5 has signed a new contract at United with the option of a further year ✍️

📊 Most chances created in the Premier League so far in 2026: 50 - Bruno Fernandes 49 48 47 46 45 44 43 42 41 40 39 38 37 36 35 34 33 32 31 30 29 28 27 - Rice, Szoboszlai 26 - Stach

The ultimate showman. Enjoy the best of Cristiano Ronaldo with myPremierLeague 👇

8 players referenced here. To me, this is low hanging fruit and the minimum Casemiro - contract Sancho - contract Malacia - contract Heaton - contract Rashford - loan option Hojlund - conditional obligation Onana - obviously not wanted back Zirkzee - been rumored to leave for a year Other players who will be moved this summer - Bayindir Ugarte A few players who should be considered to move if an opportunity arises - Shaw (probably not able to be sold) One of Dalot / Maz One of Licha / MDL Mount Maguire’s renewal isn’t done yet either so there are questions around his situation as well.

The most FA Cup semi-final appearances in history 🏆📊

Mateus Fernandes: “When you grow up, you try to look for players in your position so I looked to Bruno [Fernandes] to try to learn. I just enjoyed it and tried to learn the small details with him.” [@TheSharpeEnd] #MUFC

Matheus Fernandes on Bruno Fernandes: “When you grow up, you try to look for players in your position so I looked to Bruno to try to learn. I just enjoyed it and tried to learn the small details with him.” [@TheSharpeEnd]

Manchester United previously had a chance to bring in an International teammate of Bruno Fernandes' who deeply admires, respects & looks up to him. The first time around they couldn't bring João Neves to Old Trafford. Don't make the same mistake this time with Mateus Fernandes.

Bruno Fernandes 🤝 Cristiano Ronaldo. Goals don’t get much better than this! @ManUtd

Happy Easter from everyone at United! 🐣❤️

Marcus Rashford has registered 11 goals and 10 assists in just 2,155 minutes for Barcelona. Despite not being a regular starter, the English forward has racked up 21 goal contributions — delivering in La Liga, the Champions League and the Copa del Rey. Elite output from the 28-year old.

Climbing higher 📈 Bruno Fernandes’ Premier League Player of the Month award for March sees him move into joint second in the overall standings - level with Steven Gerrard and Cristiano Ronaldo on six awards 🤝

Introducing March’s Premier League Player of the Month, Bruno Fernandes 🥁 Making an impact for United with goals and assists 🙌