Man What

The most destructive piece of internet lore ever created is the phrase: "If they wanted to, they would." ​It sounds empowering, but it is actually deeply narcissistic. It assumes that a person’s actions are dictated 100% by their desire for you, while completely ignoring their capacity. ​A partner can desperately want to give you the world, but if they are fighting a silent financial war, battling burnout, or dealing with a health crisis, their capacity is at zero. Measuring a stressed partner's love strictly by their ability to "perform" is a lethal mistake. "If they wanted to, they would" is the fastest way to lose a fiercely loyal partner over a temporary lack of bandwidth.