Old Captain Log

If you throw a trashcan away in a trashcan can it blow a hole in spacetime? #spacetimeproblems

@FollowTheBirbs Winnie was such a wonderful ray of sunshine. I feel privileged to have been invited into his life through your updates. He was loved, and will be missed.

The rainbow bridge is shining brightly tonight as Winnie, aka Winston, aka the Scruffly Lemondrop made his way over. It was a peaceful trip and he fell asleep in my hand. Thank you to everyone for loving him as I did. 🤍💛🍋

#Dodgers optioned infielder/outfielder Hyeseong Kim to Triple-A Oklahoma City.

NOOOOO

@FoulTerritoryTV @ErikKratz31 @ByMcCullough @alannarizzo Yamamoto pitched 173 regular season innings and 37 post season innings. Are they high?

Is Yoshinobu Yamamoto an ace? @ErikKratz31 and @ByMcCullough say no, @alannarizzo says yes.

@CeraGibson I’m 5’ 11, which I’ve always been told is a liar’s height. I once dated a 6’ 4 Amazonian goddess. The only problem was in pictures she looked normal, and I looked like a hobbit.

I went on a date with a man that said he was 5’8”. I am 5’6”. I was taller than him in normal shoes. Idgaf. I will date a man shorter than me. I didn’t even care that he lied. I get it. Shits rough, but he INSISTED that I was 5’9” at least. Guys, I so am not lol. No one would mistake me for being taller than 5’6”. People usually think I’m shorter than I am even, because I’m just small. This man made me take off my shoes and we stood back to back in a bowling alley parking lot. I was STILL taller than him. I laughed and said “I really don’t care, but I am 5’6”. I’ll sho you my drivers license.” He could not let it go. Said I could have lied on my drivers license. JUST BE YOURSELF. You’re not gonna convince me that I’m tall lol. We’re both small. Let’s be small together. Who gaf 🥴

@CeraGibson Such a respectful bird, unlike my fat and sassy doofus.

The kinda vibe we cultivate in our household.

@phaseknight_ I live above California, and see that flag a lot. I always think it’s the NCR’s.

Man I’m so fallout new vegas pilled rn that I saw a marine corps flag at Home Depot and thought it was the legion’s for a second 💀

@johncrifasi @JoeyxRoss I would physically strangle a server for that ticket. It’s not about “cook the food fast” it’s about cooking it right and delivering it to the table correctly.

Absolutely begging my job to stop taking walk in tables bigger than 8 and letting this dude order fire because HE DOES THIS MULTIPLE TIMES A NIGHT!!! Sometimes multiple tables like this at a time

@akascarletVT It’s OK, the first year is a never ending gut punch of suck.

"hey what's my record?" she said...

hilarious to do this immediately after joining the dodgers. fundamentally boring, artificial, cookie-cutter team with no personality

looks like shit!

@GianmarcoSoresi Do you have any idea how confusing it gets with English AND Scottish family, evenly split?!

Trying to keep up in Edinburgh

@akascarletVT That’s some 2023 Javy skill.

The average Scarlet MLB The Show experience

@DaddyDimmuTv I really missed your MLB The Show YouTube content over the past year. I've been a constant watcher since 2021, and this year was pretty light. Us certified Olds don't make it over to Twitch!

As a creator, comments like these never get old. It’s dope to see ppl excited to watch a video of mine

@mariabamfoo @OfficialTandE @adultswim “Nook, or my cranny,” has been quoted by my friends since that aired.

💩 Do you scoop your poop? 💫 Throwback from my time on @OfficialTandE at @adultswim ✨ Watch more or get dates to see me live at MariaBamfordComedy.com

@syogeki_channel As an American gun owner who has shot his whole life, I literally do not understand how that second shot happens. Even a double-action revolver is supposed to have substantial trigger reset. Please excuse my speaking English.

反動の大きい銃を素人が撃つとこうなる 危うく自分の頭を吹き飛ばすところだった

@thebenchesclear How can you not love these two baseball posts?

i really fucking hate baseball man

@rockmeannadeus I once dated a six-foot-four woman built like an Amazon. Which made my just under six foot self look like an absolute hobbit in photos. I regret nothing.

that 0.39% are goddesses among a mere mortal like me

Bottom of the 15th

@baseballisdead_ What the ever loving shock jock bullshit were all those noises?

Yamamoto throws ANOTHER postseason complete game, this time in the World Series 😱 Dodgers tie it up 1-1 heading back to LA ✈️

@10blockstorun @ooootanisanmmm Please excuse my speaking English, as my Japanese is awful. Treinen’s political affiliation and religious views should not be compatible, which is why American fans in Los Angeles feel poorly about him. Many Dodgers are religious without supporting a party that hurts immigrants

@ooootanisanmmm 日本だと政治や宗教の発言はほぼしないですよね トライネンさんも宗教の方は大丈夫だけど トランプ支持についてはド軍ファンの中でも ネタにして面白くいじる人もいれば🥳 真剣に腹を立てている人もいて👿 ややこしそうです💦

「『どうすれば天国に人が溢れるだろうか？それがまさに私の目標だ…天国の門に迎え入れられる時、”よくやった、忠実なるしもべよ”という言葉を聞きたい』 - ドジャース P ブレイク・トライネン」 トライネンさんは信仰心が厚い人✍️