Colorado Introvert

@1__sadness__1 Man, just give people some closure dam

I’ve spent the first half of my life communicating WRONG. I used to think that sharing vulnerability and details about myself was closeness. I’m learning that it is actually PRESSURE. Here’s what I’m working on. Stop pressuring checklist 1. Is this message mostly about ME or about THEM?
(If it’s explaining your feelings, guilt, mania triggers, or need for reassurance → rewrite or don’t send.) 2. Am I giving advice, instructions, or reassurance they didn’t ask for?
(Examples: “Give yourself grace,” “Start your day with peppermint,” “This will pass,” “You’re never ‘much’.”) 3. Does this message require them to manage my emotions or comfort me?
(If reading it would make them feel like they need to reply kindly, reassure you, or take care of your feelings → too heavy.) 4. Am I filling silence or trying to “fix” the dynamic right now?
(If the main reason you’re sending it is to reduce your own guilt or awkwardness → pause.) 5. Is the message short and optional for them?
(Does it clearly include “no need to reply” or “only if you want”? Or does it imply continued daily contact?) 6. Would I feel okay if they didn’t reply for several days?
(If the honest answer is “no, I’d feel anxious or rejected” → do not send.) Bonus one-question gut check: “If they sent me this exact message right now, would it feel light and relieving… or like emotional work I now have to respond to?”

@perkmaybe I’m learning that my mom never enforced boundaries about what is/isn’t a selfish communication style. To this day she will indulge me completely. It’s both wonderful to have, and confusing to adapt away from.

what’s life teaching you at the moment?

@itsalaughingman @oelma__ I guess maybe there are rules for good women about staying together for the kids, or if you have 1 babydaddy you can date but don’t have more kids.

@RadoIntrovert @oelma__ If she was a "good woman" there wouldn't be 3 baby daddies.

Can you?

@oelma__ My dad had 3 kids with 2 mothers. (His 2nd wife didn’t have any kids with him) He still managed to have a 4th marriage and another kid with that third mother so, if he’s ineligible, so is that good woman.

@Matt_Pinner When I was little, my mom woke me up for school and I complained “I’m tired, I don’t want to go to school.” And my mom accepted that as FACT and called me out of school. I woke up a little more and immediately felt guilty, I was just complaining. 🫢

yes or no..?

It’s not a sad thing , it’s a funny thing. We all remember the exact tone. She was like “Who’s coming to your birthday party?” And I was like “My friend” and then she super excitedly and happily said “You have a friend!?” (I was like 11) we all laughed. Yes mom. I have a friend. 😂

What did your Mom say that you’ll never forget? 🥺

@WorkElizab There was this time I put waaaaaaay too much parmesan on my spaghetti, it was like a snowball, and mom made me eat it anyway. She never did stuff like that so that alone was traumatic. 😂

🤔🤔

@Thebiglade I wish they’d just tell me so I could get some closure. This “I guess they don’t like me” feeling I get after we talk is torture.

How do you deal with family members that don’t like you??

@xevekiah If selling it feels like a trap, it is. Trust your instincts.

I’m engaged, and my fiancé recently found out I own a small apartment that my parents helped me buy years ago. It’s in my name, fully paid off. I’ve always seen it as my safety net. Now he’s asking me to sell it after we get married so we can “invest together” and put everything into a house under both our names. He says keeping it means I’m planning for a future without him. But I don’t see it that way. I see it as something I built before him, something that protects me no matter what happens. And now I feel guilty for wanting to keep it.

@ThatEricAlper This is the main reason I chose never to drive. I get lost walking, I can’t imagine how far I’d get driving and spacing out. Hahah

The first trans person I knew struggled a lot in school, and came out to me as trans when we were 22 in 2012. We used to talk a lot when we were in school and it seemed like her big, final solution. She was always deeply troubled and knew she was struggling with something unknown. I’ve heard of a lot of trans people since then, including my 26 year old younger sibling, and no offense to him, but it all seems more media-fed than that one friend who I heard it from first. It’s just so popular now and everyone is jumping on board.

If you went to school in the 70s,80s or 90s, how many kids did you know with gender dysphoria?

@lila1ily Being 21. Biking to work. Eating a few times a week. Why is my feed suddenly bursting with weight-related postings?

tips on what made you get below 110 pounds?

@Rapunzel_hnn Just as many as women, they just use them differently.

Do Men have feelings ????

@Matt_Pinner I would rage out on him and probably get kilt.

Be honest...

@WorkElizab Losing weight takes a lot of planning and intention. Are you going to help them get it together and support their journey every day? If not, don’t just tell them they’re big and let them twist.

How do you tell?

@TexasSmokeChef @Marlayna29 I’m happy you know better than the original posters. Some men earn care by having been great dads for long enough to have adult daughters and/or grandchildren. You will see it more clearly when my kid sister is able to have a part time job, and take some of the pressure off.

@Marlayna29 My family does care about me, but that does come with certain caveats. I support my wife and youngest daughter. My treatment by my family varies with the degree of stress the are under. As my ability to earn wanes with age, their stress increases. This is human nature.

Men, is this true?

@Shvfii_jjr Disease and poverty

delete two things from this world?