Rev Martin Anthony Arasmo

If McDonalds Advertised In Heaven: "Hey, McSaints. Stop by and try our new McSirloin third pounder McBurgers. Made from pure 100% holy cow." Actual Testimony: Phil Rizzuto, “Holy Cow that’s delicious!” Location: We’re located by the 3rd cloud next to the east gate!!!

Creationist: "Boneless chickens were created by an intelligent Butcher, who took the bones out of the chicken." 
 Evolutionist: "Boneless Chickens Evolved after millions of years, they eventually learned how to flop out of the ocean and make their way to the grocery store."

Is it me or am I the only one who wonders if the boneless chickens were frantically late when it came time to enter Noah's Ark?

Elmer Fudd Leads Worship: 
 "Wha a fwiend we have in Jesus, all our sins and gwiefs to bear. Wha a pwivilege to cawwy evewyting to God in pwayer. Have we twials and temptwations? Is there twouble anywhere? We should never be discouwaged Take it to the Lord in pwayer.”

Sex is for marriage. Marriage is between one man and one woman. Abortion is murder. Pornography is evil and should be banned. None of these should be controversial.

I like to live dangerously, that's why I always keep the Word of God deep in my heart. Sorry, devil. Sorry, spiritual hosts of wickedness. Sorry, rulers of darkness of this age, that's how I roll.

The Lord knew Adam & Eve had “One Life To Live”, and after they sinned the Lord knew not even “General Hospital” could help. So being “Bold & Beautiful”, and being truly mans only “Guiding Light”. He died for what He called “All My Children”.

If David were with the spies in Numbers 13, when they said, "We saw giants in the land!" He would of been like, "Ooooook, Soooooo, everyone gets a sling shot! Oh, and I get dibs on the tall one in the middle!"

@trisaleon Canolli

Name a food eaten with your hand??

@hussain786_fkh #2

If you can spot the difference… congratulations, your eyes are upgraded 😭.

Most the time, when something awesome happens, people will give a “Shout Out” to a friend or family member. But today, I'd like to give a shout out to my Bible, “My Hammer”. When satan pops his head out of that "Whack-A-Mole" hole, I use it to whack him back in.

@Hoang_HQ Patrick Swayze

An icon of the '80s and '90s known for unforgettable roles in romance and action classics. Who do you think this is? Drop your guess and share your thoughts below!👇

Someone needs to make an App that can allow you to tweet (post) automatically, at a specific time, so when the Lord returns, my Twitter (X) account will auto tweet: "Ya know the song I'll fly away? Well, I just did it!"

Ironic 
Definition: It's 2026 and a MIRACLE has taken place, where the New York Mets make it to the World Series. The Mets need only one out to win, only one out to beat the New York Yankee’s, Finally! And then The Lord returns. Ironic

Personally, I think, the Dinosaurs are extinct because the Lord knew that someday, the same guy, who invented cockfighting, would have tried it with T Rex's.

Noah's Ark Day One 
 "Greetings and good afternoon. Well, I guess it’s only a good afternoon if you’re on the ship! Anywho, Welcome! Please keep all hoofs and paws, inside the ship. Carnivore's, please stick to the salad bar, and thank's for floating with us!"

@cutiieepie6 Edna

What’s an old-fashioned grandma name I could give my girl?