Simon Emslie 👻

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Someone asked me what's changed since I started working with a mindset coach. Honestly? I'm not forcing things as much. I'm paying attention to what actually energises me instead of what I think I should be doing. It's subtle, but it's working.

Matt Abrahams says thinking faster starts with three things: • Reframe anxiety as excitement • Focus on serving the listener • Give yourself permission to pause Still practising the pause. It feels longer to me than it does to them.

I'm learning that the work I avoid usually has nothing to do with the work itself. It's about what the work represents. Fear of being judged. Fear of not being good enough. Once I see that, the avoidance loses its power.

Rory Sutherland's book Alchemy taught me that people don't make logical decisions. They make emotional ones, then justify them with logic. So persuasion isn't about better arguments. It's about understanding what someone already wants to believe.

My coach talks about operating from inspiration instead of force. I'm finding that when I force myself to do something, I run out of steam fast. When I feel pulled toward it, I could do it all day. The trick is noticing which one I'm running on.

Patrick King says the secret to good conversation isn't having the perfect story ready. It's forgetting your story entirely. Making the other person feel like the most interesting person in the room. I'm still learning to shut up more.

I used to think rejection meant I wasn't good enough. Now I'm trying to see it differently. Rejection is just a sensation. It doesn't mean what my mind says it means. Still feels uncomfortable, but I'm getting better at not internalising it.

I'm noticing when I say "I have to" vs "I want to". One feels like dragging weight uphill. The other feels like I'm being pulled forward. Same task. Completely different energy. I'm trying to catch myself more often.

The Heath brothers' book Made to Stick taught me that sticky ideas have six qualities: • Simple • Unexpected • Concrete • Credible • Emotional • Stories The acronym is SUCCESs. I'm trying to apply this when I write. Making ideas stick is harder than I thought.

A coach told me to ask myself: "What would I want if no one else could know I had it?" It's uncomfortable. Most of what I thought I wanted was really about proving something to someone else. Still working through this one.

Reading Richard Shotton's books taught me something counterintuitive about persuasion: people are more likely to act when you give them a reason to say no. It sounds backwards, but removing pressure often closes the deal. The harder you push, the more they resist.

Everyone talks about discipline. Stay late. Grind harder. Force yourself through. But I'm learning that forcing myself to do things I don't want to do eventually runs out. Inspiration doesn't. Still figuring out how to tap into it more often.

I've been thinking about why some ideas stick and others don't. The Heath brothers say it's not about being clever: • Abstract concepts fade • Specific language creates pictures • Sensory details make ideas memorable Make it tangible. Make it visual. Make it stick.

My coach talks about having a "high safety ratio" with yourself. Consistently doing what you said you'd do. Following through on commitments to yourself, not just others. That's where confidence comes from. Not positive thinking. Proving you keep your word.

I'm working on detaching from outcomes while staying intentional about the process. It sounds contradictory. But when I care too much about the result, I grasp. I get tight. I perform worse. When I focus on doing good work and let go of the outcome, things flow better.

Leaders don't have it all figured out. That's what I'm discovering. They're learning as they go. Experimenting. Not attaching meaning to themselves when things don't work. The confidence comes from knowing they can figure it out, not from having all the answers.

Oren Klaff taught me something about sales: "always be closing" is backwards. Trying to close signals neediness. And neediness kills deals. The best persuaders position themselves as the prize, excel in one area, then withdraw. Let the buyer come to them.

I'm learning to pay attention to what gives me energy, not just what drains it. Most people think about time management. But you can have all the time in the world and still accomplish nothing if you're depleted. Energy management comes first.

I used to think good conversations meant having the perfect story ready. Now I'm learning the opposite: • Forget your story entirely • Resist the urge to jump in • Make the other person feel heard The best conversations aren't about you.

One thing I'm learning about leadership: you can only help someone else to the degree that you can help yourself first. Before I guide anyone, I check: Am I doing what I said I'd do? Am I following through on my own commitments? Still figuring this out.