TTL

“I’d rather buy poop pills from amazon”

“You wanna lose 40 pounds? That’s like…2 lemons!!”

B: it will take effort but you’re going to have to do it dinner or later *Silence* B: Or lunch

“Being an adult means mastering the Irish goodbye in every fashion.”

B: I got to keep you guys on your foot!!!

B: Omar already has one toe in the window CW: you mean dip your toe in the water? B: no.... CW: one foot in the door? B: ...yes

B: “in order to go forward you must go backward….I’m good right?? I just made that up”

“I don’t know no sports peepo I only know asians and machine learning”

@tobiastoft new maternity line

everyone: waiting for B to play poker B returns B: just trying to deliver my baby but I guess I can take a break B proceeds to fold her hand B: back to delivering my baby

B: "Of course you are. It's kennen. It's easy to take him $" V: "*Kennan" B: "kenan"

B: “Do I look pregnant in this shirt?” Me: “…” B: *bats eye lashes, poses, quarter turn Me: “…” S,K,V (together): “She’s pregnant” Me: 😱🙌🏽🎊

Me: “how’s married life ?” B: “it’s hard. My husband Left me!” . . . B: “ to go on a trip to Iceland with his friends!”

J: “I think B scared her. They met for the first time and B said innappropriate things Iike asking if she withholds sex from her husband”

*talking to S* "I have a new story line. That I have evolved from the dumpling story"

B: "So any plans for kids yet?" Me: "It's not on my radar" *pointing at V* B: "If you need a surrogate, this one is ripe!"

@UnBolibable Fighting with B: B: "You're not being fair! Cut me some snack!" T: "Do you mean slack?"

Shoutout to @tobiastoft, let me know if there’s anything that belongs on this thread!

“I’m not a baby machine! This isn’t A Handmaid’s Tale!”