Bethany.

people don’t realize how exhausting depression is because it’s not just being sad all the time, it’s slowly losing interest in everything you once loved and pretending you’ll get back to it someday even when deep down you know you barely have the energy to exist properly anymore.

i don’t think people really understand how it feels watching your potential fade away because of your mental health, a different kind of grief where you can only imagine what could’ve been while watching yourself slowly lose it. like bro, i wish i could do something. need help

I’m sorry for all the times my mental health made me a bad person, or friend. I am trying to survive battles I don’t always know how to fight & I know that sometimes it shows up in ways that hurt others. I’m learning, I’m healing & trying to do better every day

Sincerely, I apologize if I do not reach out anymore. My life is falling apart. I’m sad almost every time, fighting for my life every day, second guessing my career path, tired from a job I don’t like, confused, and sleeping whenever I get free time just to escape reality.

i didn’t realize how mentally exhausted i was until simple things started feeling overwhelming for no reason

being suicidal feels pointless when you know youre not going to do anything about it

nothing hurts more than getting sad again after finally feeling happy for once. It makes it feel like you were never really okay in the first place

you don’t realize how much your environment affects your mental state until you finally spend time somewhere that feels calm and your body stops feeling tense for once

And “For the ten thousand hours, I've been with you.” There is a theory called “10,000 Hours Theory” that is a popular interpretation of research about expertise and mastery. Ten thousand hours is a symbolic benchmark for mastery because many elite performers such as musicians, athletes, chess players, and experts in many fields happen to reach extraordinary levels after around 10 years (ten thousand hours) of intense training. The calculation to reach 10.000 hours, you must invest 3 hours daily for 10 years or 20 hours weekly for 10 years. The number represents long-term accumulation of effort. In reality, those who are willing to devote ten thousand hours to break through the barriers are mostly extraordinary individuals. From a psychological perspective, spending thousands of hours on one thing often leads to distress and may cause others to perceive one as stubborn. However, this extreme feeling is precisely a component of talent, as it encompasses forces we cannot fully control like emotions, personality, and passion. It is the key to sustaining and igniting passion. The 10,000 hours idea challenged that belief by showing expertise is often built slowly, progress is usually invisible at first, consistency compounds over time, and small improvements accumulate. Come to think of it, if we want to connect the dots, it could be a meaning of SEVENTEEN being togetherness for ten thousand hours to reach those extraordinary levels in their career as musicians. They fight for it, reach that level, together. Woozi is not just a great lyricist, but a ✨ genius✨ songwriter. However, he really hates being trapped inside being a genius because he said that if he were gifted and a genius, he wouldn't suffer this much and work so hard for it 😂

This is actually genius😭😭

@artistsbase Aku ada cukup mirip kak, tapi untuk sekarang aku lagi aktifnya di instagram (_noxhorizon instagram.com/_noxhorizon/). Kalau tertarik bisa dm disana ya kakk

my problem is that i always see suicide as an option 😭 i could be going through a remotely hard time and i'll just think 'i could kms tonight and not have to deal with this' 💀

@0xhanyfa dikira keluarga cemara ga pernah dituntut ini itu padahal dia cuma lihat dari satu sisi, pekerjaan. mana tau dia struggle nya bertahan hidup sampe detik ini wkwwk ya karena gak cerita, aku lebih suka mendem (dan jarang nangis)

me after a long day of distracting myself only to realize my heart is still heavy

So yeah, go ahead and find me on someone else's. I don't care.

Gua sendiri selalu memaki the reflection of myself.

Soalnya kalau lu pada minta 'diri' gua yang sebelumnya, maaf banget soalnya gabisa.

Maybe this is it. I fucking lost myself.

Alive or not, gua udah gak peduli soal diri gua.