i hate this

got a hyperfixation for the first time in a long time and ive gotta say i never feared a character crawling into my brain and living there before

so this gayass bitch named michael is in my brain with me and im just supposed to live with that??

oh SHIT. how much of me is actually genderfluid and how much is alters having genders. i thought i had it AALLLL figured out and id never have another gender/sexuality crisis again.. FUCK

@motrsys real

covert system discovers space where they don't really need to be so covert, loses mind, explodes and dies

it's honestly kind of scary to introduce ourselves individually instead of just saying "I'm not the host/I'm a different alter from the previous fronter)" but we want to practice 🧍🧍 but also I'm so afraid I could throw up

unfortunately

when the manic episode do something good 4 you foronce

ok the @ has been decided made the acc on a self-acceptance whim and had no other ideas

@pluralbears yea, i found out one of mine is actually an introject of a friend i had when i was 4-5 and has just been here the whole time. freaks me out

afaik, its guesswork. memory is fallible, and we all do our best to piece together our childhoods. i have alters that are pretty young and have memories from 3-5 (as much as i personally struggle to accept them) so i assume thats when my system Formed.

you know what's funny? I actually dropped the first therapist who thought I could have DID (all the way back when I was 15) because I thought she was incompetent and it was such a stupid fucking idea

if i'm like 50 people or some shit, then why do i still feel so alone? checkmate, liberals!

if i get high enough can i make myself one person again

this host is so fucking scared of the system

@pluralbears ok.. maybe i have that

and that is why im polyfragmented.

dissociation impacts memory, emotions are a key part of memory. it can also impact senses, AND my system does a fun thing of stacking those. ->

anyways unrelated i went to my 1st mental health appointment since i moved and they said its on my file that i have dissociative identity disorder 😭 i dont remember this am i cooked