all i can imagine is possibly water retention/bloat/swelling, i did drunk binge the other night but it was barely over 2000 cals and my scale has been going up for like .... Three days now
i really hope im coming up on my period bc ive been eating around 1000 cals and working out 2-3 hours a day and the scale is just NOT budging going up even does any one know what this is ????
im literally on track if not ahead of when i planned to be hitting my goal weights by (which is truly arbitrary as u rlly only have so much control over how fast you lose) but i got a new scale yesterday and the number just keeps flashing in my head over and over again
nobody talks about how damaging growing up fat is .... you spend the rest of your life trying to compensate for being ugly even if you aren't and you'll never have a concept of yourself looking like a normal person .
it only ever happened twice, no overtly sexual content just overly friendly talk, for no longer than a few days each but idk it's still something im so not proud of and reflect back on it always and only to fuel my self hatred
my digital promiscuity during my manic episodes is one of my biggest shames/regrets .... nothing ever major to be close to cheating but i feel so guilty about it i feel the need to confess
i can't even explain why i do it besides emotional self harm. i don't like it, i don't want it, I think it's seeking a dopamine rush + the risk of self sabotage?