Fritz B. Simon

BREAKING: Jimmy Kimmel just delivered the White House Correspondents' Dinner roast Trump was too scared to face — and it’s BRUTALLY HILARIOUS! This year, the annual White House Correspondents' Dinner has abandoned its long-standing tradition of featuring a comedian to host the event and deliver a fiery roast of the incumbent president and their administration. Given Donald Trump’s boycott of any dinner where he might have to face the slightest bit of mockery, it was the only way to get him to return to the scene of his previous humiliations, most notably from the rapier wit of Barack Obama back in 2011. According to late-night host Jimmy Kimmel, Trump banned comedians from the Dinner because, as Kimmel put it, "our president is a delicate snowflake with the thinnest fat skin of any human being ever." So, Kimmel did the roast anyway — presenting it as the Alternate White House Correspondents' Dinner from the "Trump Kimmel Center in Washington, DC" in a subtle jab at the MAGA alternate Super Bowl Halftime show. It was everything Trump could possibly fear. The opening of Kimmel’s faux routine set the tone immediately: "I haven't seen this much black since every page of the Trump Epstein files." He then began to skewer the narcissist-in-chief — and select members of his administration — with barbs designed to highlight every major character flaw that Trump pretends doesn’t exist On Trump's ego: "The president didn't want me to tell any jokes about him tonight, but he also didn't want to pay me $130,000 to shut up. So here we are. Sorry, mushroom d**k." On Trump's Jesus complex: "Every time he walks into a room, people say, 'Christ, he's back.' Who did your makeup? Kraft Singles?" On Trump's legacy: "He passed new incentives for oil and gas. He put the brakes on solar and wind. That will be your legacy, sir — breaking wind and passing gas." On Trump's Epstein connection: "30 years ago, you were just some rich guy on Jeffrey Epstein's private jet out of Teterboro. But you worked hard, stayed friends, shared some wonderful secrets. And because of that, you were able to fly on that plane seven more times. Dreams really do come true." On Melania: "Mrs. Trump, you have a glow like an expectant widow. She's planning to celebrate her birthday at home, the same way she always does — looking out a window and whispering, 'What have I done?'" And: "Melania's documentary had a score of 10% on Rotten Tomatoes, which is a website named after her husband's testicles." On Kash Patel: "Can we get Kash a vodka soda and a booster seat? I'm not saying Kash Patel has a problem, but his designated driver is Pete Hegseth." On Pete Hegseth: "Pete's hair has more oil in it right now than the Strait of Hormuz. Later on, Pete's going to read us a Bible passage from Pulp Fiction, so stick around." On RFK Jr.: "Years ago, he wrote in his diary that he pulled his car over to carve the penis out of a raccoon. His son asked why. He said, 'Because I'm a f---ing psychopath. Now get out of this car and go get measles.'" Kimmel concluded his alternate reality roast by presenting another made-up award of the type that the insecure president loves so much: the "inaugural Burger King of Comedy Gold Award," which was presented to "Donald J. Leno Trump." Trump may have gotten the White House Correspondents' Association to ban comedians at their annual dinner — but the comedy happened anyway, thanks to Jimmy Kimmel. Please like and share this post if you think a president hiding from jokes is funnier than any joke a comedian could tell.

Quote of the day 👇

Ein lesenswerter Post über zwei unterschiedliche Firmen der Sklaverei… Huxley vs. Orwell!

@RpsAgainstTrump Make Idiots great again!

Pete Hegseth: "The one institution that should win the Nobel Peace Prize every single year is the United States military."

@FraukePetry Der hat zweifellos ein Rad ab!

Zitat des Tages!

@highbrow_nobrow @Acyn Now you have a dumb president and a dumb vice president…

J.D. Vance: I empathize with Americans who are exhausted after 25 years of foreign entanglements in the Middle East. I understand the concern, but the difference is that back then we had dumb presidents. @Acyn (2025)

@iltugnela Una stupida idea!

Lo vorreste al comando dell'Europa al posto di Ursula?

@ianmiles This theory is idiotic. If you have the best product and nobody knows: Nobody will buy it. Economy is a communication system.

Marc Andreessen just revealed the Elon Musk philosophy that completely broke his brain: "The best product in the world shouldn't even need a logo." We all know Elon is relentless about quality. As Marc puts it: "Do you want the best car in the world or not, right? Like that's Elon's mentality... And it's working very well." But at a recent event, Elon took this mindset to a completely different level. He dropped a perspective so jarring that Marc initially thought it was a joke. Elon’s thesis? "You shouldn't even have to have your name on the product. It's just obvious. Everybody knows." The logic is brutal but simple. If you build the undeniable, undisputed best thing in the world, everybody uses it. And because everybody uses it, you don't need to slap your branding all over it to prove it's yours. Think about that. We spend endless hours agonizing over marketing, tweaking brand colors, and putting our logos on every square inch of what we build. But the ultimate flex isn't a flashy logo. The ultimate flex is building something so undeniably brilliant that its mere existence is the brand.

Wir können uns nicht erinnern, wann wir in Europa zum letzten Mal Adressaten einer solchen politischen Ansprache waren. Können Sie sich vorstellen, so etwas von Fr. Merz, vonderLeyen, Kaja Kallas oder Mark Rutte zu hören? Und: Haben Sie noch Fragen dazu, wo diese „Politikverdrossenheit“ eigentlich herrührt, die in den Staaten der westlichen Welt etabliert ist? Woher kommt der Vertrauensverlust in unsere politische Klasse? Woher die radikale Ablehnung ihrer prominenteren Vertreter - bis hin zu blankem (intellektuellen) Ekel („Unbeliebtester Regierungschef der Welt“)? Wann genau ist es eigentlich geschehen, dass der gesellschaftliche Diskurs in der EU einem geistlos kalten, durch und durch un(glaub)würdigen Technokraten-Club übergeben wurde? Und warum erobern wir ihn nicht zurück? „Papst Leo XIV. sagte, dass die Demokratie Gefahr laufe, zur Maske für die Herrschaft der wirtschaftlichen und technologischen Eliten zu werden. Unsere Aufgabe ist es, diese Kräfte zu entlarven. Jene zu entlarven, die vorgeben, auf der Seite des Volkes zu stehen, aber im Interesse der Reichsten regieren. Die sich als Patrioten ausgeben, aber ihre Souveränität verkaufen und Sanktionen gegen das eigene Land fordern. Die behaupten, die Familie zu verteidigen, aber die Augen vor Gewalt gegen Frauen und sexuellem Missbrauch von Kindern verschließen. Die sich zu Hütern der Wahrheit erklären, aber Lügen und Desinformation verbreiten. Die sich als Männer Gottes betrachten, aber keine Nächstenliebe kennen. Die von Freiheit sprechen, aber Andersdenkende verfolgen. Wir müssen die Entmutigung durch Träume ersetzen. Den Hass durch Hoffnung. Eine bessere Zukunft entwerfen. Eine Zukunft mit sozialer Gerechtigkeit, Gleichheit und Demokratie. Nicht als bloße Parolen, sondern als lebendige Realität. Ein Mensch altert nicht durch die Anzahl der Jahre, sondern durch den Mangel an Motivation. Politik hat nur dann einen Sinn, wenn sie sich für ein Anliegen einsetzt. Mein Anliegen ist die Demokratie. Mein Anliegen ist die Freiheit. Mein Anliegen ist die Gleichheit. Mein Anliegen ist es sicherzustellen, dass alle Menschen respektiert werden.“ Lula da Silva, Präsident Brasiliens

@RpsAgainstTrump Hahahaha!

Trump: “A year ago, our country was an embarrassment. All over the world, they laughed at us. They don't laugh anymore”

@VolodyaTretyak Idiot

Describe this person in one word ⬇️

Guten Morgen liebe Nachbarinnen und Nachbarn! Das, was Frau @CKemfert sagt!

Trump says his life was better before he became president. Dude, everyone's lives were better before you became president!

This one is so much more accurate than the original.

This video encapsulates Donald Trump's Iran strategy.

@WhiteHouse Gaga!

“I am pleased to announce that TODAY my Administration officially filed the presentation and plans to the highly respected Commission of Fine Arts for what will be the GREATEST and MOST BEAUTIFUL Triumphal Arch, anywhere in the World. This will be a wonderful addition to the Washington D.C. area for all Americans to enjoy for many decades to come!” - President DONALD J. TRUMP

Wie Diktaturen funktionieren | Fritz B. Simon, Andreas Kynast, Martina N... youtu.be/XybVUtXG9Kg?si… via @YouTube

Karoline Leavitt: “They were tested and they failed.” Here’s the thing about NATO that apparently needs explaining to the most powerful government on earth: it is not a taxi. You do not ring NATO. You do not place an order. You do not specify delivery within 72 hours and then stand in the Rose Garden bewildered that nothing has turned up. NATO is a collective defence alliance built on the radical concept that its members are, in fact, members, with votes and opinions and sovereign militaries they get to deploy according to their own national interests. This is written down. It has been written down since 1949. The documents are available in English. Nobody in this administration has read them. Let’s go back to Greenland for a moment, because this is apparently where the rot set in. Trump wanted Greenland. Just wanted it. Asked if he could have it. Was told no, it belongs to Denmark, which is a NATO ally, which means the whole thing was always going to be diplomatically awkward at best and catastrophically self-defeating at worst. His response was not to reflect on this. His response was to decide that NATO was a large problem. An alliance of thirty-two nations that has kept the peace in Europe for seventy-five years was, in his assessment, getting in the way of his property acquisition. This tells you everything you need to know about how the man thinks. And it tells you everything about who he hired to think alongside him. Every serious leader in history, every CEO worth the title, every general who ever won anything, has operated on the same basic principle: hire people smarter than yourself. Steve Jobs did it. Churchill did it. Every remotely competent executive who ever ran anything of consequence understood that your job is not to be the cleverest person in the building. Your job is to find the cleverest people in the building and then get out of their way. Surround yourself with people who will tell you when you’re wrong. Who know things you don’t. Who have read the documents.Trump inverted this entirely. A cabinet selected not for expertise but for loyalty. Not for knowledge but for the willingness to perform agreement. Pete Hegseth at Defence. A communications team that announces things with confidence at a ratio entirely disconnected from understanding. An administration where the qualification for the job was, essentially, never making the man at the top feel inadequate. The outcome of this philosophy is Karoline Leavitt at a podium reading four words as though she had just solved something. Delivered with the serene confidence of someone who has never had to sit in a room and actually work out what NATO is, how it functions, why it was built, or what the word collective means in the context of collective defence. They were tested and they failed. Europe is not shaking its fist. Europe is shaking its head. Slowly. Wearily. In the way you do when you’ve explained something seventeen times and the person across the table still hasn’t got it and you’ve finally accepted that they never will. The allies are building their own defence architecture now, with people in the room who have read the documents. They stopped waiting for Washington to grow into the role some time ago. And somewhere in all of this, Greenland is still Danish. Still will be tomorrow. NATO is still an alliance of sovereign nations who get to say no. Still will be next week. And the White House is still staffed by people who find both of these facts baffling. Some things don’t change just because you haven’t understood them.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ ​ Stay connected, Follow Gandalv @Microinteracti1