First Date Questions

how many hours a week do you spend staring at yourself in the mirror wearing only an open robe

when is the last time you wore socks with sandals and how quickly were the authorities called on you

if we ever shared a bunk bed, how long would it take for you to surrender and give me top bunk

what's your personal record for time spent devouring an entire package of Oreos without breathing

on a scale of one to just-woke-up-from-hibernating bear, how violent do you get when someone asks to share movie popcorn

would you rather have a cucumber or a banana inside of you? like, if you had to choose?

do you think fuzzy caterpillars know their "hair" isn't really hair and their entire existence is actually a fucking sham

what's the smallest number of bites it's taken you to eat an entire loaf of bread

if we were at dinner and i dropped my whole plate on the ground, how quickly would you offer me all of your food

what’s your favorite type of pretzel

when is the last time you cried your way through an entire half pound all beef burger and large fries with a diet coke

Fuck, Marry, Kill: Oprah Winfrey. yes or no?

when is the last time you woke up at 1 am & ate a box of instant mashed potatoes with a wooden spoon before you realized what you were doing

when did you first realize everything is impossible

how many months is too many months to go without washing my sheets

are you a normal ice cream cone licker or one of those people who bites right into it like some kinda animal

do you think dogs like the smell of their own farts

if you could drop a house on anybody, like Dorothy-style, who would you just obliterate

if your dog could talk, how quickly would it rat you out

how many hours a day do you think about pooping