🤦🏻‍♀️

Me anytime I leave NYC

Mrs. Met is Puerto Rican and Jewish, grew up in Woodside, worked at a bakery as a teen and went to a large public HS whereas Mr. Met is canonically Irish and Italian, grew up in Ozone Park and went to multiple Catholic schools, it's wild some of you are trying to debate this

@C_Seagriff 🥹❤️

Everyone needs a best friend that will come in the middle of a work day to watch your baby so you can take your toddler to the hospital. Best godmama/auntie to my babies, we love you aunt @funkerellaa

@valentinaaaaxo They did 🙁

something i just did to annoy terrence was ask him if taylor swifts football team lose last night @funkerellaa

@i_am_awesome My Amex bill be looking like a fucking phone number from my trip to the UK.

God, I’m the best in Europe. Charge this, charge that. Charge that to the room. $6 for a bottle of water? Sure! Yeah, I’ll look at a $2,100 Chanel chain wallet I can’t afford. Lick. It. Up. Baby!

@alyssgalimi Aunties day outtt

@alyssgalimi I’d be willing to leave soho to come pick you up ❤️

@valentinaaaaxo Shit I really need to get a dress

that’s crazy

It’s not healthy how much I love/hate my career.

i need this so fucking bad

I was drunk in a bar and saw a girl who is getting married tomorrow wasted and now I’m sober and have anxiety for her. Why am I like this???

12 days into my new title and I already had my first nervous breakdown and cried in the bathroom. But it’s ok cause I have unlimited pto and I start abusing it tomorrow 🥰

Please don’t ever invite me to the Bronx unless it’s worth my time

Just got home after 12 hours in the office with half a singular functioning brain cell left, forgot I wore nipple covers today because it was too hot for a bra and took my dress off and caught a glimpse of my nipple-less boobs and almost had a fucking stroke.

I’ve been drunk 5 nights in a row and actually going into the office to trick my body into thinking I’m in my 20’s again

@megundo_o Pick me up at 8 bitch it’s a date

*day 3 of the new job* co-worker: “wow so you really like leopard print, huh”

The first “happy birthday” message I saw when I woke up this morning was from Louis Vuitton which speaks volumes about where I am in my life right now.

My great aunt made me sit in church and say the rosary with her in Italian so that the Virgin Mary will send me a “nice man”

I feel so embarrassed anytime I’m on the L train. Like, what if people think I live in Williamsburg???

There’s truly nothing I love more than being tan and lathered in coconut oil from head to toe.