Rebecca Rutherford

@NWSStLouis I don’t eat much bread or drink milk so whatever you can have it but KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF THE TOILET PAPER YOU PANDEMIC-ERA T.P. HOARDERS

UPDATE!!🚨WINTER STORM THIS WEEKEND🚨Heavy snow, sleet, & ice will lead to hazardous travel conditions & threat for power outages across the region. Avoid all unnecessary travel, be prepared if your power goes out, & stay informed. Head to weather.gov/stlouis for details.

They say that a cardinal bird is a loved one who has passed away coming to visit you. But if you hit a cardinal bird with your car and it dies, do your loved ones come back to visit you instead?

And now I shall begin my favorite of all Thanksgiving traditions: Painstakingly painting over all of the wall scuffs that I’m just now noticing because people are coming over today.

Camping is in tents.

I am the breadloser in my house.

When a #UFO is ID’d is it just a FO?

When someone says, “I love them as a person,” I always wonder if there are alternatives. Could you love them as a lamp instead? Do we have options?

First aid kits get all the notoriety, but I’m all about second aid kits.

If it’s not off limits, is it on limits?

Are you still eligible for a second wind if you never had a first one?

I want to start a band called Free Beer because the promotional posters would draw a huge crowd and I love seeing a genuine face of disappointment

Chick-Fil-A sauce is my favorite and all other Fil-A sauces are dead to me.

I SCOFF at servings per container

@ryanripley I generally don’t feel like a master-level anything can also be entry level

Scrum Master is NOT an entry-level job. #ChangeMyMind

If I look better in hats and sunglasses than I do without them, what does that say about my head?

Honeydew is a honeydon’t for me.

OK, I’m at a loss and I don’t even know where I’ve been over the last week so I’m just going to put this out there: Has anyone seen my coat?

There’s so much talk about “passive income” when I’m over here hustling for some “active income.”

Why is cannot acceptable while willnot is not?

I got rid of all my jeans during the pandemic except one pair so now all I have is jean.