Commonwealth of Massachusetts

Starting next year, you can no longer legally reside in The Commonwealth of Massachusetts if you are a heterosexual. We know it's unfair, but what can you do

@jackson_hearn1 @QUBIC_LABS @DamonCoxinnov8 @nic_carter @wsford @CastleIslandVC @NutterLaw @Algorand @Libonomy I’m an anti-capitalist parody account.

@jackson_hearn1 @QUBIC_LABS @DamonCoxinnov8 @nic_carter @wsford @CastleIslandVC @NutterLaw @Algorand @Libonomy Gross

Join us THIS Wednesday for The Blockchain Showdown w/ Speaker @DamonCoxinnov8 & Judges @nic_carter, Josh French, @wsford. Check back in tomorrow to meet our participants, and get your free ticket right here for this Wednesday, May 12th at 6:30pm EDT >> lnkd.in/dMMzuZi

Boston is great, the two most fun things to do are: -walk around -look at and gesture angrily to condos that stand on the ground of locations that used to mean something to you

Come stay in Massachusetts! Our largest metro area is becoming so gentrified and expensive and scrubbed clean of any of its charm that everyone who’s not a rich doctor is trying to leave. This was supposed to be a funny tweet

Going forward, we will make sure to not ACCIDENTALLY upload our very detailed, proofread, well-written (in our opinion) 100-page erotic fan fiction.

We are sorry about how graphic it was and about the potentially disturbing use of the line “how about them apples?”

We would like to issue another public apology for the erotic fan fiction we wrote about Matt Damon that we ACCIDENTALLY uploaded to Ao3. ACCIDENTALLY. It would be EMBARRASSING and WEIRD to upload it on purpose.

Is a Dunkin Donut really a Donut? More at 11

You say that was NOT what the Boston tea Party was about or how it worked?! What are you — a HISTORIAN?!

LISTEN HERE, buddy. You think you don’t wanna live in Massachusetts because it’s cold and the rent is too high? Many bags of tea DIED for your right to live here in the 1700s. MANY BAGS OF TEA.

Every time Ben Affleck drops his tray of Dunkin’ coffees, he loses another five years of his life....sad, really. It’s why he cries every time.

When you enter MASSACHUSETTS, you are greeted by a LOBSTER wearing a RED SOX HAT who looks at you in a very hostile manner, only giving you a very brusque “hi.”

Please do not fact check this statement.

Meet Nochka. She loves sleeping on beds and people, making biscuits on her family members’ bellies, eating food too fast and throwing up, receiving pets and attention, and murdering mice. She has been voted Massachusetts’ Best Resident 15 years in a row.

Truly, it hurts us as much as it hurts all of you to thank Mitt Romney for anything. We are sorry.

We regret to inform everyone that we can partially thank Mitt Romney for us being ranked The Best State for Healthcare.

In 2003, we Blessed the Gays With Marriage.

oooooo yeah massachusetts