고정된 트윗
the worst part about wanting to learn another language is the harsh reality that I truly have nothing to say
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Sam Hickson
2K posts
Every American bar + restaurant has a burger called “Tim’s Heart Attack” and it’s named after a guy who ate 50 burgers in a row and had a heart attack and if you beat Tim’s record the meal is free
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The horror movie executives at Neon want me to throw up, they want me to wake up screaming in the middle of the night, they are trying to horrify me… and I let them 😏
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What’s next, no giggles? No horsing around? No tomfoolery? No clowncore hilariosity?
The Real Zim Shady@zimranjacob
one of the craziest posts of all time
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I WAS TODAY YEARS OLD when I learned my dust allergies were Münchausen syndrome by proxy
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Anyone else feel like a sack of 5 burgers on a two dog night? Just me?
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I love listening to my girlfriend’s voice messages, it’s like a solo podcast where I’m a main character
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You might think my life is easy, but my grandfather could never have emotionally dealt with threateningly sexual ice cream business names like Daddy’s Dairy and Cream Palace
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As a former improviser in corporate America, you are always one degree away from being a cult leader
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You think “Baby on board” is gonna stop me?? What if I’m looking for a baby??
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A lot of these so called comedians are actually dudes brimming with hatred and rage… just honk your nose bro
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It is emotionally humbling waiting for a bartender.. thoughtful patience, cash out, eyes desperately seeking attention, begging for someone to ask me “what do you want?”
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Therapists should start prescribing hibachi restaurants for middle-aged depression, every 50-something-year-old is having the time of their life in there
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From the ages of like 4 to 9, I had such horrific nightmares about this guy that I regularly needed soothing piano music playing to fall asleep. Honestly I’d party with him now
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@theyoungestsull I love this and it’s presented with clear alternatives, I hope they recognize this
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I won’t be going home for the holidays this year because I’ve developed an allergy to big bowls of lukewarm scrambled eggs
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this looks like my college improv group warming up before a show
Fascinating@fasc1nate
The launch party Microsoft Windows 1995
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