Sam

Peeling back my coffee’s clitoral hood

@DrinkAriZona 👁️👄👁️

@barelyyalex He’s innocent 😭😭

Put a finger down if ur kitten pooped in his carrier on the plane bc he got scared of a rough landing & the crew was so angry about the smell that they kicked u off ur next flight and left u in a random city for 12 hrs and now ur rationing cat litter & food in a family bathroom

I used to hate waiters until I realized they’re not just being nosy. They need to know what I want to eat so they can relay it to the kitchen staff

Maybe if yall would give me some space I could hold it

@samtemp1e uhhhh... #SpotifyWrapped

I think if I were in the industry my name would be Clit Eastwood

@alyssaduurloo excuse me im tweeting

@samtemp1e Put the phone DOWNNN

Bouncing on it in a way that honors my right, responsibility, and civic duty to vote

They’re literally the Yankees you’re supposed to yank them

@Delta please put Bottoms back as a movie option I cannot enjoy a flight unless I’m watching Bottoms

transgender illegal alien gf and springfield ohio dog eating bf

HOTTOGO (to bed cuz my feet hurt and im tired)

Appreciation thread for @samtemp1e on her very first event 🥲

Some of y’all too worried about who is bitches when you should be worried about getting some bitches

COME

I love my filet-o-fish bowl @samtemp1e youtu.be/yDABjkE_nGo?si…

Who’s Sam? Well, let me tell you. Sam is one of the hardest workers I know and her dedication to the quality and humor of this show will never be forgotten. Yes she’s leaving, but like they say: some birds aren’t meant to be caged ❤️