forty sneel & 2 | 🔞↑

@rockandrollporn shotz this is also my first time being responsible for turning a property back to the landlord (i've moved 7 times in the last 4 year and this is the first time i've managed to keep my home for a full year bc i was living alone) i'm geeked as fuck rn yo im turning insane im crazy

@sneelunderscore You're in my thoughts, dude. Moving is one of the most stressful things. 🌼

move-in starts tomorrow morning, i'll be totally offline for a (hopefully just) a few days while waiting for utilities to be reconnected, will get back to everyone once i've moved. not ghosting just busy

i have a day + 1/2 to move an entire house of shit, spinal injury means my movement is limited, i have some help but i'm trading my will to live organising people and now working around the shitface landlord withholding the keys has fucked it up crazy + CYCLONE HITTING LATER AAH

i'm literally in fucking hell right now btw which is why i'm not answering dms even when i do have internet i'm in the worst mental state ever. i was supposed to pick up the keys to begin moving shit over 3 hours ago and now im being told to wait 4 hours and "maybe" i can get 'em

@Tellek0 the texture of all food is so gross to me right now, i haven't thought of anything i'd want to eat with how underperforming my modus operandi is at the moment, i think just because i can't really eat i feel nauseous thinking about food since i'm probably really malnourished- idk!

@sneelunderscore For fear of awakening feeding kinksters, I will still say, completely asexually, I hope someone gently pushes scrambled eggs into your mouth with a cake piper (this was my comfort fantasy when in similar straits)

i've had such mixed reactions from people realising i'm a girl. i wonder what they see. i have unmanaged spondylolisthesis muted by orphenadrine citrate. i have a ulcer that hurts so bad i haven't eaten in 27 hours. i've been wearing the same set of clothes (not mine) for ~4 days

@SakakiIsCute @BigFatWitchHat not to cokesplain at you just adding on to what you said tee-hee

@BigFatWitchHat Coke would probably hurt your performance, you'd want something like Adderall to focus, and Coke will hurt fine motor control and make you too indecisive in a match (or so I've heard)

Okay but if you didn't know he was on coke there wouldn't be anything you guys could do

@SakakiIsCute @BigFatWitchHat also, coke increases the production of a potent vasoconstrictor that significantly inhibits nitrous oxide production, this is why your heat beats hella hard on it, it's beating at a higher resistence (+causing strain to the organ) i can't list many places i'd wanna do coke LESS

@SakakiIsCute @BigFatWitchHat the significant increases in blood pressure could be an actual hazard ig, depends on dose but hear me out. HBP from coke, factor in the stress of a comp. fighting game, in a tourny even, plus the diet of the average smash player, especially tendencies of high caffeine consumption

@Saybooblor argh, it was 4am when i posted my twitter thread masterpiece, it's 6am now, there's a defecit of options but something in me half-assed will do until i can get something in me full-assed

@sneelunderscore Can you drink anything? A smoothie?

i could read and write before reaching my 2nd year as a desultory antipodean and i languished it on tumblr roleplay with "novella reply length-ONLY" blogs you had to c+p to the ubiquitous wordpad as "<p style="font-size: 2px;">" was easier than 1,984 words through lingojam on DSL

highkirkuinely the ostentatiousness is the joke because who the fuck else do i know that can use "otiose sardonicism" in a sentence not for sounding fancy but because it's apt. i love wasting the gift of hyperlexia on pointless cynical pseudo-humour. this is my desktop zen garden

3am erudition to cope with the ulcer i got from getting punched in da mouth leaving me unable to eat and sstarving for two FUCKING days i hope someone reads my conceited SLOP and mistakes ms. grandiloquent's otiose sardonicism as the twitter furfag psychotic breakdown of the hour

tremors typical of famishment. minimal advancements- some bites. the cascading dramas of the wound has disgorged resolves of succoring that intractable malaise. the contingency should i not captitulate, scope forgone, buckles into bargaining eyeteeth for extirpation. my due mercy

without needing to eat and being unable to without punishment, and without punishment for being unable to eat when needing to, suitably astringent beyond words, con to considerability for having just been proof in onerous deglutition for sake of, for sick joke's sake yet apropros

i used to comfort despair about these things by claiming i always land on my feet, but i'm older, so now the "landing" isn't win/lose. it's just the outcome i receive. it always continues no matter what; nothing up to chance is worth thinning hair over, i save that for afterwards

i've yet to allow panic about the most quintessential part. i'm the last person on the lease yet to pay my bond. i have a phone appointment at 7am sharp on monday morning, arbiting if my loan is approved. 3 days from the deadline. i have blueprints of my plans b-z, but none good

@Tellek0 i appreciate you saying this, i often think this about people i see on social media being people besides whatever art i followed them for, so i try to think it is thought about me- it shirks off guilt. you've reminded me that i should say it to those people myself on occasion too

@sneelunderscore It's important! Art is expression, and the circumstances, influences, and background of someone making an expression alter the deeper meaning of it, or at the very least can frame it with important context! (Besides the fact that we just, like, like ya as a person, y'know?)

i'm just blogposting right now because i'm really stressed out about moving, throwing away so much is hard. i don't mind if people don't care, i'll return to porn and shitposts in a week or so anyways. i've had this account for 7 years, it's just an endless abyss of lonely woman.