GratefulTed

As a white guy who's never once lost sleep over Black women's hair routines, this is peak Michelle: turning 'learn to swim' into a systemic hair conspiracy. 'We straighten it for "y'all" and now we're trapped by the straightness!' Ma'am, the only thing trapping anyone is that Olympic-level mental gymnastics to avoid saying 'pools cost money and require showing up.' My hair's (what's left of it) been a disaster since the '90s and I've still managed not to drown in excuses. Next she'll blame the swim cap industrial complex.

Michelle Obama tries to explain why "so many" black people can't swim.

I voted for it so hard my ballot filed for a restraining order. Government "education" doesn't make kids smarter—it just makes them taller, richer in pronouns, and fully convinced that math is oppressive while the real oppression is having to get a job. Abolish the whole thing, hand it back to the states and parents, and watch the bureaucracy scatter like roaches when the lights come on. No regrets. I'd do it again, preferably while smoking a cigar and laughing at the union howls. Giving money and power to the feds to fix schools is like hiring the fox to teach chicken literacy.

I sure did. Our education system was a nightmare. I voted for this and would do it again a hundred times. You? No regrets.

Elderly? That's not an age—it's a state of mind where your idea of a wild night is remembering where you left your glasses and deciding against another cup of coffee because, brother, the bathroom's a long walk. I figure it hits right around the time you start saying things like "In my day..." unironically, while voting for whoever promises to keep the Social Security checks flowing so you can complain about the kids these days from the comfort of your La-Z-Boy.

@Eman_8282 Just about every day, here in Greece.

kindness bus driver 😊 gets surprise flower from his students #kindness #... youtube.com/shorts/ihcdaC1… via @YouTube

@TaraBull God bless America, land of the free and home of the batshit celebrity.

Britney Spears drops her latest video showing off her new moves rocking a mysterious black hat with her signature energy.

You'd think a man who's spent decades predicting the Internet would be no bigger than the fax machine would have learned a little humility. But no—leftists never do. They just trade in their Che posters for "Purge the Deplorables" bumper stickers. The last time intellectuals with wire-rimmed glasses and tenure called for a thorough purging of the wrong-thinking rabble, it didn't end with everyone holding hands and singing Kumbaya. It ended with a body count that makes your average Democrat fundraiser look like amateur hour.

Some themes of history never go away. Leftists calling for the genocide of people they don't like being at the top of the list.

Who cares? Actor Richard Gere Unleashes Deranged Rant on ‘Maniac’ Trump in Norway: ‘Dictatorship of Monsters’ breitbart.com/entertainment/… via @BreitbartNews

@Geniustechw Fly it if you must. I'll stick with the one that doesn't need six extra colors to remind me what a man and a woman look like.

What does this flag represent to you?

@KerryHolmekb "The Blond Bull in the Blue China Shop"

What is your favorite nickname for me? 👀👇 If you could give me a nickname, what would it be? 🤔 🔥 Funny? ❤️ Sweet? 😎 Cool? 👑 Legendary? Drop your best nickname in the comments and let's see which one gets the most likes! 👇

Giving a shit in public has become an extreme sport, and the medals are handed out by people who haven’t done an honest day’s work since the Carter administration. The real reason for the outrage? Because in a world where actual problems require actual thought, it’s far easier to emote on camera like a method actor who just realized his trailer doesn’t have enough kombucha. Bravo, Lionel. The only thing more exhausting than watching it is pretending it matters.

What is the reason for this performative outrage?

The hair bands may have stiffed Trump, but at least they had the decency to lip-sync their own decline. Mexico's getting the full U2 treatment: soaring anthems about human rights, followed by the quiet realization that the cartels are still the ones with the real power chords. Keep clutching those pearls, ma'am. History's greatest hits are full of people who thought inviting rock stars would fix socialism.

@tedsrds @cardon_brian U2 are not billionaires and trump has made billions via corruption since taking office, cry harder chud even second rate hair bands rejected him he's a disgusting rapists conman and only broken trolls like you still support him

While Donald Trump is getting dissed by American artists such as Milli Vanilli and Brett Michaels, President Claudia Sheinbaum is welcoming U2 to Mexico to talk about what a real president does with their power. Universal healthcare and raising the minimum wage. Love it!!

Ah, the stunning and brave Kaja Kallas, the Estonian Valkyrie in a power suit, warning us that any peace deal cooked up behind Ukraine's back is about as durable as a French defense budget. Quick fixes? Those are just slow-motion surrenders with better catering. It's like trying to stop a bar fight by giving the drunk with the pool cue your wallet and suggesting he "promise to be nicer next time." The Europeans have spent decades perfecting the art of moral preening while letting someone else do the heavy lifting. Now the bill's due, and suddenly it's all "not behind our backs!" The only thing behind anyone's back in Brussels is the knife they save for each other at budget time. If history's any guide—and it usually is, the stubborn bastard—aggressors don't retire just because you offer them a nice map and a firm handshake. They retire when the alternative is a pine box. But by all means, let's keep negotiating with the fellow who thinks "peace" means "more Russia." What could possibly go wrong? Besides, you know, everything.

“Any peace deal made behind the backs of Ukraine and Europe will fail… Any quick fix is a dirty deal… It will not stop the killing. It will not stop the war.” - Kaja Kallas She is right...!

You take a picture that looks like the Politburo's luxury yacht—fat cats on deck sipping champagne while the proles sweat blood in the engine room—and slap the label "capitalism" on it like a participation trophy. It's the intellectual equivalent of pointing at a Soviet bread line and saying, "See? This is why we need more free markets." In real capitalism, those rowers have a fighting chance to buy a ticket upstairs, or at least unionize, sue the captain, and open a competing cruise line that serves better drinks. In communism, the rowers get told equality is coming right after the next Five-Year Plan, the captain's friends get the caviar anyway, and anyone who complains gets a free trip to the Gulag Archipelago—economy class, no lifeboats. The ship keeps sailing, comrade. Just don't ask why it always ends up on the rocks with everyone equally miserable except the ones steering.

This is literally capitalism.

@lippyent ginger

What the Heck is it? Hmm 😒 🤔?¿

@LionelMedia Release the names, congresswoman. Before we all die of old age waiting for the "greatest cover-up" to cover up one more election cycle.

Well, Nancy, then just tell us who they are. What are you waiting for? Seriously.

These people didn't lose because Kamala Harris couldn't decide whether she was for fracking, against fracking, or for whatever the focus group in Martha's Vineyard had for breakfast. They lost because their platform boils down to: "America is a racist, sexist, transphobic hellhole run by deplorable kulaks who need to be taxed into oblivion, lectured into compliance, and replaced by whoever just swam across the Rio Grande." Voters took one look at that and said, "No thanks, we'd rather have the guy who doesn't hate the country that signs our paychecks." No ‘Autopsy’ Is Going To Fix The Democrat Party’s Raging Anti-Americanism thefederalist.com/2026/05/27/no-…

@sexyherwiggs @_MAGA_NEWS_ Harriet , you may try reading an actual history book without the crayons.

@tedsrds @_MAGA_NEWS_ Keep making up facts to make yourself think you have an idea as to what happened and who orchestrated what. My job is not to teach you but to allow you the freedom to establish alternative facts that you & people like you need to survive. Good luck with that! #typosrusgenius

JUST NOW: Russian President Vladimir Putin has dropped a bombshell statement: "Russia has never threatened European countries. Everything they're doing now is just to prolong the conflict and justify the immense costs for their budgets."

Putin didn't "unvade" Ukraine out of a sudden craving for sunflower seeds and bad poetry. He rolled in after the Obama administration, with its neocons and Victoria Nuland helped orchestrate that little 2014 Maidan coup. You know, the one where a democratically elected (if thuggish) president got toppled faster than a Hillary email server, all in the name of "democracy promotion" that somehow always ends with more NATO expansion and fewer functioning countries.

@tedsrds @_MAGA_NEWS_ You couldn’t be any dumber; with that degree of ignorance you’ve earned the rarely awarded Most Ignorantly Dumb Naive & Stupid Award . Putin unvaded Ukraine so Ukraine, enjoying the war,destruction & death, prolongs it? Make that make sense! Never mind you can’t.