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Aniekanabasi

@theaniezekiel

Social Architect & Dad | Building out the Skills-Jobs-Spaces Ecosystem for the Digital Economy, starting from Akwa-Ibom State (Home 🧡🌴)

Uyo, Nigeria 가입일 Temmuz 2010
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Aniekanabasi
Aniekanabasi@theaniezekiel·
In building out the Executive Support Programme for Executive Virtual Assistants (EVAs) and Executive Personal Assistants (EPAs), the entry point was critical. So many of the learners come into the Programme because 1. They want the ease of remote work as a *side hustle*. 2. They want an additional stream of income. Nothing wrong with that but very often, this meant they also wanted minimal work and work that doesn’t require too much critical thinking. “Just tell me what to do and when you want it then leave me be” type of energy. The problem? Builders, Founders and CEOs need CAPABLE and INTENTIONAL Co-Creators and no one prepares learners for that. We do. I’m grateful for the opportunity to design and teach a new league of Co-Creators who support those building tomorrow. More at mosaichci.com/eva-programme/. Goodluck to our Stream 10 Learners! ⚡️🌻
ES Programme@ES_Programme

Day one of the ES Programme kicked off with insights from @theaniezekiel . Here’s what we learned about leadership, strategy, and taking action that matters. Save these lessons and start applying them today.

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Charles Dairo | Kindlybook
Charles Dairo | Kindlybook@charles_dairo·
Pewbeam MUST become the #1 product of the MONTH on Product Hunt. Nothing Less! I reckon we’ll need 700+ votes to make this happen. Link below. Thank you for your attention to this matter! And please RT!
Charles Dairo | Kindlybook tweet media
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Aniekanabasi
Aniekanabasi@theaniezekiel·
ComparisoNNNNNN not “compariSM”.
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scott iguma
scott iguma@IgumaScott·
This is a clear proof and evidence of what i am telling you. Hold your local government accountable, pressure them to work.
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Jolene
Jolene@hamofarabia·
Anyway, now that we have gifted City this one, let’s win prem 🙏🏾
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Aniekanabasi
Aniekanabasi@theaniezekiel·
FWIW I think you are factually correct but heavily distracted by what is clearly an imbalanced /biased point. It’s clearly not all men. Going down that road is engaging in what you already know is wrong. Their imbalance/bias (all men) is a function of emotion. Why is that the focus of so much intellectual vim? It only forces them to dig in. What outcome are you focused on achieving? Doesn’t seem like progress together.
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Enyinnaya
Enyinnaya@enyinna_·
I wouldn’t call myself a “Not all men,” type—at least not anymore—because I don’t care for the “all men” people and perhaps even the “not all men” explanations I see often, too; and also because I’d never gotten the answer to the question: “If you say it’s all men, then what, you dumb bitch?” Yet, I’d give a specific response to your very specific comment. 1. Committing more crimes doesn’t make you more evil. Crimes are different from moral wrongs. You can commit a crime for goodness sake. E.g a male driver breaching traffic laws to save a pregnant woman would be included in stats for “male criminals.” Also, a man who kills a rapist instead of calling the police could be convicted for murder or manslaughter depending on the available facts and evidence before the court. A woman will hardly find herself in this situation because she most likely can’t overpower the rapist or risk herself for the protection of a victim; not because she's a better human. 2. You can be incited by a person to commit a violent crime whilst the same person retains plausible deniability. E.g if a woman wanted to murder someone, she’d like to incite a man whom she has some leverage over, (she could incite her son), over another woman. More so, because she intuitively trusts male competence in matters of violence. But you know this, don’t you? It’s not like you admire the women you meet everyday. Do you trust them? Why wouldn’t you trust them? If she commits such murder herself it would be through non-violent means such as poison, but a man would most likely do it through violence because he’s capable of it. This doesn’t make him more evil. He’s only more capable of expressing such evil in that manner. 3. If Men are not exalted for doing the great things they’ve done disproportionately higher than women all through history, which are overwhelming and numerous, they can’t be condemned for the evil of a few men. Anyone who doesn’t understand this is either malicious or stupid. Given that it’s a free world, you’re allowed to be anything; and to face the consequences of that thing. 4. Universally, women’s crimes are largely underreported and they still get lighter sentences. It’s even viewed as cruel to put a mother in jail, even when she’s a piece of shit. 5. Think about this before responding. This part usually seems like a death sentence for the average feminist. But, who knows? You just might surprise me.
shimmerl’raina 💖@ShimmerLeRaina

@enyinna_ Yes indeed. Across several jurisdictions

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Aniekanabasi
Aniekanabasi@theaniezekiel·
I spend time answering these things because there are a lot of young guys looking for a better way. Looking for a better approach. Too many of us want to keep operating in the brutish nature that caused our fathers to be so “strong” that they lost connection with themselves and their families. There is a reason so many of us lost chunks of our relationships with our dads until it was late in the game. Yes, we later began to understand why they were the way they were but how much time had passed? What caused it?
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Aniekanabasi
Aniekanabasi@theaniezekiel·
It should. But timing is everything. This is not the right time. When a house is on fire, you can’t keep chasing rats. A lot of *how* they say stuff shows imbalance/bias. Why react to it? Why join in the imbalance? Also, to be defensive is to feel attacked. That suggests what the other party says or does is affecting you. That’s an internal thing my bro. Nothing they say should affect you. If not, they control you. It doesn’t mean you have to accept it but there is a mid point that is borne out of strength of self and maturity. Once here, there is nothing to be triggered by and nothing to defend. Then focus on what’s important PER TIME.
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yanf🗿
yanf🗿@jhustbeeb·
@theaniezekiel @viadmx Well shouldn’t generalizing also be something we address? I mean, something triggered the men's defensiveness too?
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Kem
Kem@viadmx·
This is why I tell people, if 7 out of 10 guys in your compound are to be arrested for kidnapping, even if you're among the innocent 3, it doesn't matter, you shouldn't try to exonerate yourself. The right time to exclude yourself is when you're in kiri kiri already. 🤌
Martini Olakunle Akande@signor_martini

As a decent man, I understand the instinct to say “not all men.” You’re right, it’s not all men. Lol it can’t be all men. But you grew up with women or you at least have female friends and colleagues. MOST of them have stories of sexual harassment and sometimes sexual abuse. Real and painful stories. Abuses and harassment perpetuated by who? A man. You can’t know all these and your first reply will be “not all men”. The priority in that moment shouldn’t be “distancing yourself” from the problem, it should be listening to what’s being said and acknowledging the pattern. Everyone knows it’s not all men. Even the women saying “all men are guilty till proven innocent” know they’re wrong. However I understand that logic as a safety/defensive mechanism when interacting with men you don’t know. Back to the point. You don’t need to “defend men” in that moment. Lol most decent men aren’t asking you to defend them in that moment.

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Aniekanabasi
Aniekanabasi@theaniezekiel·
A) Here’s the thing: maturity will help you see that no one has the power to pull you down with their words or opinions. Especially if you can tell it comes from a place of imbalance/bias/ignorance. Your reaction is what gives their position power. This is why insults don’t work on me. Na your mouth/fingers. Use am as e do you. B) Regarding progress, if you agree that as men we provide leadership, then it starts with taking steps the other party won’t. Many times, it will be the painful part- overlooking. Quite often, it’s only temporary sef. About false allegations, this is in the minority compared to actual SA cases so focusing on the minor is a distraction of the mind IN THIS DISCOURSE. As for men standing up, many more of us condone the little things that all contribute to this world of SA. If you want to understand more, ask your sister or cousin and just listen without trying to correct. Ignore the imbalance if it shows up and try to imagine being in her shoes. Try it.
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Tegbe!
Tegbe!@TomiwaTegbe·
You’ve practically just answered the question yourself. You, I, and the women speaking out, very well know that not all men are rapists or bad, it goes without saying. I am not, you are not, so why are we so determined to use moments when they are expressing anger, fear, and real patterns they’ve experienced from men to exempt ourselves as if we don’t understand what they mean? If you and I are not guilty, our government names were not called, why do we feel attacked in that very moment? Why are we more concerned about exceptions the moment a norm is being rightly called out? Do we want an award for being exceptions? What does it matter to the victims, in that very moment, that you and I are exceptions when no one mentioned our names? Of what use is highlighting our “good guyness”? Is that the real issue? How is it helpful to the issue when, instead of leading with empathy and understanding, acknowledging and holding our fellows accountable, our first and loudest response is being dismissive, derailing the convo, centering and reassuring ourselves instead of the affected people? We understand what we mean when we say the Nigerian police are bad or share our horrible experiences, we know not all officers are bad. Yet in that moment, we understand that it would be dismissive and insensitive when someone, especially a police officer responds with “not all police” or claim we are exaggerating. Imagine this happening during the heat of Endsars. We understand the concept of rhetorical expressions used to highlight patterns and communicate urgency. We understand the concept of using language for social critique and pointing out systemic issues. We understand that the point is to draw attention to recurring problems or patterns, we understand all these in other issues but choose not to apply that same understanding here, why? Why is it so important to us that “some” must always be inserted when a pandemic is being highlighted? Ozoro did not happen out of nowhere, it happened because an ill has been so normalized for too long unchecked, one that persists when patterns are downplayed or dismissed and young men have been socialized to find nothing wrong with it. We must do better.
Morgernstern@idle_mind23

The most tiring thing about this discourse is that both sides involved knows it's not all men. Tegbe here knows that in fact, not all men are rapists, as he himself is not a rapist. It beats me why they'd rather pretend otherwise; or what they intend to achieve.

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Aniekanabasi
Aniekanabasi@theaniezekiel·
Brother, in both situations, your eyes are fixed on the reactions and responses of women. That’s the main problem as I see it. Me? I’m not. Mostly because most of those responses aren’t centered. This, we can all see. But emotion always removes balance so are we really surprised? What is then the point of trying to match imbalance with your own imbalance? You have to learn to overlook and focus. Overlooking does not mean accepting and you have to be confident in yourself to succeed here. Overlooking will mean focusing on what’s important. For example, I don’t think GBV is pushed MORE by men and I could have argued that with you but I overlooked it to see your actual point. That is how progress is built. Sometimes you ignore the need to correct how something is said so you can focus on what’s important they’re trying to say. To summarize: if you stopped reacting to imbalanced reactions/statements and looked at the larger points, progress becomes more likely, even though not assured. See this short thread (I believe your main point is in my second tweet):
Aniekanabasi@theaniezekiel

If I were a woman, Ozoro (which is one in several instances) would elicit very similar reactions so the uproar is valid and understandable. Even for those who haven’t experienced SA, being confronted with images and videos of violence and violation against people like you will always raise strong emotions. Layer that on top of history and the sentiments run really deep. It is important to remember this when interacting with women on these issues. These aren’t just intellectual exchanges.

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Ọhọ ďire ♌✊🏿
Ọhọ ďire ♌✊🏿@iChukwuemekalum·
@theaniezekiel @Splendourx @TomiwaTegbe For the A, there's no how it's not clear most men hate GBV, but the reactions from the opposite will never let us meet at the middle and come to a consensus on how to move on from any situation because the stereotype would always surface, meanwhile it's not really lack of unders
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Aniekanabasi
Aniekanabasi@theaniezekiel·
A) No one said understanding means accepting. There is a difference. And just for clarity, I don’t accept all that “all men” nonsense at all but I understand what is being said beyond how it’s said. B) I don’t know about GBV protests being pushed by men but assuming that’s correct, it sounds like you’re looking for validation/recognition from the women. Not sure why. I’m not sha. C) There is a place for understanding, but it requires shifting focus from semantics and labels to seeing patterns. Your house can’t be on fire and you’re chasing rats. The “All men…” thing is the rat here. It is pesky but there are bigger fires to put out IMO.
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Ọhọ ďire ♌✊🏿
Ọhọ ďire ♌✊🏿@iChukwuemekalum·
@theaniezekiel @Splendourx @TomiwaTegbe Understanding by accepting "All men are rapists " ? Check well every GBV protest are been pushed by men and at the end it's always "all men", if men don't rise to the situation they don't, if men do they never recognize men are against GBV and fight it more than they do.
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Aniekanabasi
Aniekanabasi@theaniezekiel·
I want to believe there is a part of this I’m not getting because I hold views around this that (based on what I see) supposedly “pander” but I genuinely have no interest in the approval of women in that sense. I ask genuinely: what do you mean by dance of shame or being a pacifist? There must be something I’m not getting.
Chukwuedozie Nwa Charlie@TheCharlesIsidi

The idea of men pandering online for feminine approval will never sit right with me. Nobody gave you this role of pacifist, + the dance of shame you are doing is self inflicted. When you get the medal, I’d love to take a look at the pile of ash you are wearing around your neck.

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Aniekanabasi
Aniekanabasi@theaniezekiel·
@Splendourx Also, I respect you pulling back from insults and correcting the other guy.
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Aniekanabasi
Aniekanabasi@theaniezekiel·
@Splendourx @TomiwaTegbe This and the tweet afterwards. We can walk and chew gum.
Aniekanabasi@theaniezekiel

If I were a woman, Ozoro (which is one in several instances) would elicit very similar reactions so the uproar is valid and understandable. Even for those who haven’t experienced SA, being confronted with images and videos of violence and violation against people like you will always raise strong emotions. Layer that on top of history and the sentiments run really deep. It is important to remember this when interacting with women on these issues. These aren’t just intellectual exchanges.

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IAmSplendour
IAmSplendour@Splendourx·
So I guess, if your neighbour's house is in fire and he runs into yours with a keg of fuel and match stick, you should allow him burn down the house because you want to be empathetic? That's crap!! Whenever there's a r@pe case, they begin the "all men are r@pist" propaganda and people like you are there to patronise them, rather than call them to order. No one is downplaying the severity of a r@pe case nor their sufferings. But what we will not do is to sit down and allow them brandish every man a r@pist. That's case accusation!!
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