Alexandra

I bet when slutty girls get cremated instead of ashes the family just gets an urn full of glitter. bethany.katkit.in/clinton

I've never been carded at a Forever 21. ken.projectmy.in/dean

lara.katkit.in/eugene Looked at changing my name to Bieber so I could get RT'd. Realized I can't b/c I have a penis.

mercedes.posttwit.info/rosanna The only downside to buying diamonds is that you could have bought thousands of tacos instead.

On Mondays, Zombies feel alive inside. katherine.posttwit.info/krista

'I've been expecting you, Mr. Bond.' - James Bond's mother giving birth marietta.twitpost.info/joanne

sawz.sawz.ru/helene The TSA agent who runs the x-ray machine just told me "Nice penis." Thank you, Al Qaeda!

bitly.xaijo.com/tabatha We could power our entire office with the wind produced from my constant sighing.