Armin Schwaiger

If you find me dead after tweeting & driving, please hit SEND to get that final thought out there bitly.xaijo.com/eddie

bitly.xaijo.com/eva Don't judge a German tourist until you've walked a mile in his socks/sandals combo.

bitly.xaijo.com/kathryn Editors at fashion magazines, you're doing a great job. Women continue to hate their bodies.

bitly.xaijo.com/GaBkOmFl Objects on twitter may appear funnier than they are.

Oh stop it! I'm not superficial. I'm just ficial. bitly.xaijo.com/teJCjh

:oscopy - How I abbreviate colonoscopy. bitly.xaijo.com/MjrPNn

bitly.xaijo.com/teJCjh It's not fair to blame Pizza Hut for my weight gain. It was more of a Domino effect.

bitly.xaijo.com/oMCGg If a Butterfinger doesn't list butter as an ingredient, then is it all just finger?

Condoleeza Rice went by Condoleeza Couscous in college. bitly.xaijo.com/hANrOaH

bitly.xaijo.com/oallrF Can't believe I'm not invited to things I'd never go to