Charles Duhigg

Supercommunicators just spent its 22nd week on the New York Times bestseller list, so I want to share 10 🚫shallow questions vs. 🤝deep questions to help you become a supercommunicator at work: A thread 🧵

The simplest way to make someone feel heard is also the most underused. Ask them why, reflect back what you heard, and then ask if you got it right. Most people never make it to that third step.

When someone says something that gets under your skin, the most effective response isn't a counterargument. Ask them why it matters so much, and they'll stop defending a position and start telling you who they are. That's when real conversation becomes possible.

Interior decorating tips (from science!) for people who know nothing about interior decorating. A new newsletter from The Science of Better!

Most of us think we laugh because something is funny. But 80% of the time, laughter has nothing to do with humor. It's how we tell someone we want to connect with them.

Nearly half of what we do every day isn't really a choice. It's a habit running in the background. The good news is that once you can spot the cue and the reward driving a behavior, you can change it.

When a conversation gets hard, resist the urge to make your point more clearly. Ask a question, reflect back what you heard, then ask if you got it right. That last step is the one most people skip.

The best communicator in any room usually isn't the one talking the most. They're the one everyone walks away from feeling like they were actually listened to.

Harvard's longest running happiness study found one thing predicted how long, healthily and happily people lived: If you had a handful of close relationships at age 45, then 65, you were more likely to live longer, be happier, and have more success.

What you spend money on matters more than how much you have. Research keeps arriving at the same answer: other people, shared experiences, and anticipation beat almost everything else.

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How should we have the hardest conversations? By acknowledging, up front, that this is awkward and hard.

Your morning routine shapes the rest of your day more than most people realize. The research points to three things that actually matter: something to anticipate, a moment of relaxation, and some form of connection.

Before jumping in to help, try asking one simple question: do you want to be helped, hugged, or heard? People know the answer immediately, and it changes everything about how you show up for them.

@firesidegat Nope. Real life humans.

@cduhigg Are you using any AI for your selection process?

A few years ago, my wife I endowed a scholarship for book sellers hoping to write their first book. Applications for the 2026 awards - totaling $50,000 - are now open! You can apply at bit.ly/3NNOr0G

@DesireeCachette @rachelsklar Anyone who works in a bookstore or a comic bookstore is eligible!

@cduhigg @rachelsklar But this is specific to book store owners or managers?

Super communicators ask 10 to 20 times more questions than the average person, and most of them are simple. The real skill is asking questions that invite people to talk about what they actually care about, and then genuinely listening to the answer.

Exercise is a keystone habit.

Every conversation is actually three conversations at once. When two people are in different ones, they can't really hear each other. Ask how someone feels about something, not just the facts, and you'll find out which one you're in.

Thank you to @TheOmarZenhom and The $100 MBA for having me on the show this week! It's a wonderful conversation. 100mba.net/mba2755/