Coin Bureau

📉 BITCOIN WHALES & SHARKS LOST $337M PER DAY IN Q1 2026 On-chain data shows large BTC holders are locking in heavy losses, with sharks (100–1,000 BTC) losing $188.5M/day and whales (1,000–10,000 BTC) another $147.5M/day in Q1. Combined, that’s over $30.9B in realized losses, averaging $337M per day, making Q1 2026 the worst quarter since the 2022 bear market.

🚨FRANCE TO OFFER LOANS TO SMALL BUSINESSES HIT BY FUEL COSTS The French government will offer up to €50,000 ($57,600) in loans to small businesses struggling with soaring fuel prices, Bloomberg reports. The loan will run for 36 months and are limited to companies in those sectors that spend at least 5% of their revenue on fuel.

🔥 "BITCOIN ETFS WILL BE LARGER THAN GOLD ETFS," ANALYST SAYS ETF analyst James Seyffart says Bitcoin ETFs may grow larger than gold ETFs because BTC has more use cases, acting as growth asset, inflation hedge, and digital capital, while gold is mostly just a hedge. However, he notes the market still treats Bitcoin like a high-risk growth asset today, which explains why gold ETFs are currently outperforming.

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🚨JUST NOW: Ships are reportedly being offered safe passage through the Strait of Hormuz if they switch registration and raise flags of “friendly” countries like Pakistan. Pakistan is now looking for the biggest ships in the Gulf willing to temporarily sail under its flag, including massive oil tankers carrying up to 2 million barrels.

🔥 “STOP SNORTING COCAINE” - FRENCH GENERAL MOCKS TRUMP IRAN PLAN A French general slammed claims that Trump could build an airbase inside Iran during active bombing to extract uranium. “You have to stop sniffing coke between meetings… it’s not possible.”

🔥JUST NOW: Secretary of War Pete Hegseth reportedly pushed out Army Chief Gen. Randy George over alleged “insecurity and paranoia” about being replaced. Sources say Hegseth has been targeting officials seen as loyal to Army Secretary Dan Driscoll, who is viewed as a leading contender for his role.

🚨 JAPAN, FRANCE & OMAN SHIPS CROSS HORMUZ FOR FIRST TIME SINCE IRAN WAR Multiple ships linked to Japan, France and Oman have passed through the Strait of Hormuz for the first time since the Iran war shut it down. It remains unclear whether this came from government diplomacy or quiet back-channel negotiations. Notably, all three countries have taken anti-war stances: France and Japan have called for a ceasefire, while Oman criticized the US strikes on Iran while talks were still ongoing.

🚨JUST IN: The Crypto Fear & Greed Index remains in Extreme Fear, extending the Fear streak to 76 days. This is now the LONGEST such streak since the FTX collapse.

🚨🇨🇳 JUST IN: CHINA’S BYD SAYS SURGING FUEL COSTS FROM THE MIDDLE EAST CRISIS ARE DRIVING A BOOST IN ITS EV BUSINESS AS GLOBAL CONSUMERS SHIFT AWAY FROM GASOLINE CARS.

🚨🇺🇸 JUST IN: WSJ CONFIRMS IRAN HAS STRUCK TWO U.S. WARPLANES, WITH THE SECOND PILOT RECOVERED SAFELY WHILE THE FIRST REMAINS MISSING AFTER 12+ HOURS.

🚨🇺🇸 JUST IN: ELON MUSK IS REPORTEDLY REQUIRING BANKS WORKING ON SPACEX’S IPO TO BUY GROK SUBSCRIPTIONS, PER NYT.

🚨🇰🇷 JUST IN: SOUTH KOREAN SEMICONDUCTOR EXPORTS SURGED 151.4% TO A RECORD $32.8B IN MARCH, FUELED BY BOOMING AI DEMAND.

🚨U.S. BANKS OPPOSE COINBASE TRUST CHARTER APPROVAL U.S. community banks oppose the OCC’s conditional approval of Coinbase’s national trust bank, saying the move could expose customers and the financial system to crypto-related risks.

🚨🇺🇸 UPDATE: KEVIN WARSH’S SENATE NOMINATION HEARING FOR FED CHAIR HAS BEEN SCHEDULED FOR APRIL 16, PER POLITICO.

🚨🇺🇸 JUST IN: IRANIAN STRIKES ON THE U.S. EMBASSY CAUSED SIGNIFICANTLY MORE DAMAGE THAN THE GOVERNMENT INITIALLY DISCLOSED, ACCORDING TO THE WALL STREET JOURNAL.

🚨 JUST IN: JPMORGAN REPORTS CRYPTO FLOWS DROPPED TO $11 BILLION IN Q1 2026, ROUGHLY ONE-THIRD OF THE SAME PERIOD LAST YEAR.

🚨🇯🇵 JUST IN: JAPAN AIMS TO EASE ARMS EXPORT RULES AND ALLOW LETHAL WEAPONS SALES FOR THE FIRST TIME, PER KYODO.

⚡️BREAKING: META AND GOOGLE FACE THREAT TO KEY LEGAL SHIELD Court cases are moving forward that could bypass the 30-year-old legal protections long shielding Big Tech platforms from liability for user content.